I had a startling moment yesterday morning. I looked at the kid and realised that she's no longer a kid, she's a young woman. I guess with the wee bit of drama over the last few years, I never really stopped and looked at her. She was just always there, a constant. But over the last few months, she has really matured, which says a lot for a 17 year old. I'm extremly proud of her and how far she's come. Sure, she still drives me up the walls but those days
are becoming less. When I think back to her curled up on the bed, crying and crying, her arms red from where she'd been cutting herself to the confident and much older version walking out of NCAD with her portfolio under her arm its hard to relate the two. Its hard to go back to that time. That time when she didn't want anything except her mammy back. When her crying would absolutely kill me because all I could do was make her tea whilst Mammy2 held her.
Nowadays, there's the constant chatter of teenagers and her playing the Playstation. She has survived so much and come such a long way.
That was some long moment wasn't it?! She txted me on Monday to tell me she failed Maths and got a C1 in her english which she was very happy about. When she got home, we all headed to NCAD to pick up her portfolio. Apparently, there are over a thousand portfolios in there. She's not stressed or worried about it at all. I really want her to get NCAD. Although its not part of the Access programme which is a bit shit. The Access programme helps people who can't really afford college fees and all that. Its available on all the other colleges she's applied to but not NCAD. I'm sure we'll manage but it would have been handy. The mate K dropped over and I cooked dinner. The ever reliable potato. The mate was chatting about how she's going to get a job in the summer and she worked
last summer for a while and got some money. She gave most of her to her Mam though because her mam takes care of her and all that. The kid was pratically under the table at this stage with embaressment. The mate K continued with mentioning that she did her own washing and ironing. The kid had the sudden urge to to the toilet.
I was supposd to catch up with the mate from college yesterday but with funds quite low and the rent due on Thursday, I rescheduled. I had no plans and the mate R was having a shit day, so I met up with her as she de-stressed. I was fecking freezing, the night was so cold. What the hell happened to spring? Eh?
A phone call from the kid yesterday evening.
"Hi, one your way home bring pasta sauce"
"I'm not coming home until later"
"WHAT? There's no pasta sauce and I've just cooked pasta for K"
"Wait, you cooked pasta without checking if there was sauce first? What sort of weirdo are you?"
"Shut it, tell Mammy2 to pick some up, I want to give K some pasta"
"Mammy2 is in the gym and I don't know what time she'll be finished at. You'll have to cook her
something else"
"Crap, fine. I'll just make her something else"
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Ireland 43 - England 13
There are no words that can encapture or describe Saturday night. From the moment Mary McAleese stepped out onto Croke Park to the final whistle, it was a rollercoaster of emotion and national pride, the likes of which I haven't known in my lifetime. Fantastic match, amazing occasion and no trouble.
God Save the Queen was greeted with revered silence, and then we kicked their asses off the pitch. After a very emotional deliver of Amhran Na Bhfiann. Brilliant stuff. The dutch crowd who came over were well into it. At one stage, when the crowd at Croker broke into The fields of Athenry, the sister's boyf, J started joining and he knew all the words. I fear we have playing those pub song CDs too often when he's been home. Saturday was perfect antidote to Friday and Thursday night. I went through every emotion possible on Friday and was still quite exhausted on the Saturday but things had improved. To make a long story short, I had upset one of the best mates J. We sorted things out on Friday night thank god, but I was still very raw from all the crying. When the sister and her gang met us on Friday night, she was so worried the poor thing. Apparently, I looked dreadful, not her words of course, but I got the general gist.
Things are good now and I guess when its something that means to much to you, when you care about that person so much, its always going to hurt more when there is an argument and/or disagreement of any kind. That and conflict and myself aren't good friends.
The kid has made nearly a full recovery from her flu and chest infection. Thankfully also she hasn't got art today. The last thing we want is for her to start back and straight into a scrap. She announced last week that she was going off the pill. Luckily I was sitting down. Its been a while since she's done 'anything' and also she's turning 'lesbian' again. Or something. Whilst trying to keep my voice level and not reach the dizzying heights of the dogs hearing me, I explained to her that she should stay on it. If not for herself, then for my stress levels. She seemed to take this on board for a while and agreed. She went to a wrestling match on the Saturday with the mate K. She really seems to enjoy the wrestling. Or perhaps the attention of the wrestlers, who knows. At least she's doing something apart from hanging around the apartment annoucing she's bored or hanging with her mates. Although she really enjoyed Cavan with the mate A. Its good that's mixing more with her friends.
We're still trying to decide what to do for her 18th. Slayer are over on the day of her birthday, playing in Cork and she already assumes she's going. So that can't really be a present. Although Mammy2 insists that if we buy her tickets, book a hostel for her and her mate and get the train tickets, its enough. Aside from the family dinner to celebrate the previous weekend. Which is also the same weekend as Pride. Excellent stuff. Her birthday has always been around Pride but as this is the big one for her , Pride may have to take a back seat. I shall see what the team want to do if they want to do anything. I think everyone is still a bit tired from the birthday bash. We should be having another regular meet soon though, and hopefully if the weather holds, we can do something non-pub related. I've had a couple of things suggested to me, just depends on what the members want to do.
On Sunday, after the madness of Saturday, I offered to show two of the sister's mates around Dublin, showing them historical buildings and all that. One of the girls who travelled over didn't drink or smoke or like Rugby so the poor thing was probably bored out of her mind all Saturday. At 8 o'clock on Sunday morning, I was up doing some research and checking dates for them. Luckily for me, the farewell we had planned for one of the team was cancelled as the guy had something else to do so we will be rescheduling. 9.30 and we set off around Dublin taking in amongst other things, the four courts, 16 Moore Street, The GPO, the Custom House, the famine memorial, jeanine Johnston, The long stone, College Green, Trinity College, Molly Malone and then finishing up in Dublin Castle. One of the girls is quite funny, she hasn't got much english so I had to talk very slow, or as slow as I could manage. Which is quite difficult.
She knew nothing about our history, so I had to do the 'squeeze as much as you can into 2 hours'. I tried to explain the 1916 Rising, the whole issue with the british, the northern Ireland situation. But the funniest had to be the famine memorial. I was on the phone when we arrived and I guess, for me, the famine is the biggest thing historically and so I tend to assume everyone knows about. Stupid I know. But the girl L, was looking at the statues and I could hear her talking to H, the other girl and asking her questions. Eventually she comes up to me with the cutest curious expression on her face
"But why are they hungry?"
Naturally, any opportunity to talk about An Gorta Mor and educate people in something that ultimately shaped our country was welcomed by me. As luck would have it the Jeanie Johnston was in harbour so we paid a visit. They were both shocked and horrifed with all the facts that they learned whilst on board. One of the crew, was chatting to us and filling us in on more information about the ship and what it was about. She told us they were travelling on to the UK from Dublin and I asked what sort of reaction do they get in different areas. She told us a story about how the previous day, an eldery english lady got on and looked around, before turning to the crew lady and declaring
"Well, this is all wrong, this is obviously propaganda. There was no famine and your history books need to be re-written to reflect that"
What can you say to that kind of ignorance. I couldn't believe that anyone would even think that? The mind boggles.
Today I am off work :) Time worked up on that mad project, days off are great. Granted I may spend some of it working, but I will enjoy the day.A few hectic days coming up, I've to meet up with a good mate from my college days tomorrow, we lived together for 4 years and I haven't seen her in over 2 years. You'd swear she was living abroad, she's only in Meath! It will be good to catch up with her.
God Save the Queen was greeted with revered silence, and then we kicked their asses off the pitch. After a very emotional deliver of Amhran Na Bhfiann. Brilliant stuff. The dutch crowd who came over were well into it. At one stage, when the crowd at Croker broke into The fields of Athenry, the sister's boyf, J started joining and he knew all the words. I fear we have playing those pub song CDs too often when he's been home. Saturday was perfect antidote to Friday and Thursday night. I went through every emotion possible on Friday and was still quite exhausted on the Saturday but things had improved. To make a long story short, I had upset one of the best mates J. We sorted things out on Friday night thank god, but I was still very raw from all the crying. When the sister and her gang met us on Friday night, she was so worried the poor thing. Apparently, I looked dreadful, not her words of course, but I got the general gist.
Things are good now and I guess when its something that means to much to you, when you care about that person so much, its always going to hurt more when there is an argument and/or disagreement of any kind. That and conflict and myself aren't good friends.
The kid has made nearly a full recovery from her flu and chest infection. Thankfully also she hasn't got art today. The last thing we want is for her to start back and straight into a scrap. She announced last week that she was going off the pill. Luckily I was sitting down. Its been a while since she's done 'anything' and also she's turning 'lesbian' again. Or something. Whilst trying to keep my voice level and not reach the dizzying heights of the dogs hearing me, I explained to her that she should stay on it. If not for herself, then for my stress levels. She seemed to take this on board for a while and agreed. She went to a wrestling match on the Saturday with the mate K. She really seems to enjoy the wrestling. Or perhaps the attention of the wrestlers, who knows. At least she's doing something apart from hanging around the apartment annoucing she's bored or hanging with her mates. Although she really enjoyed Cavan with the mate A. Its good that's mixing more with her friends.
We're still trying to decide what to do for her 18th. Slayer are over on the day of her birthday, playing in Cork and she already assumes she's going. So that can't really be a present. Although Mammy2 insists that if we buy her tickets, book a hostel for her and her mate and get the train tickets, its enough. Aside from the family dinner to celebrate the previous weekend. Which is also the same weekend as Pride. Excellent stuff. Her birthday has always been around Pride but as this is the big one for her , Pride may have to take a back seat. I shall see what the team want to do if they want to do anything. I think everyone is still a bit tired from the birthday bash. We should be having another regular meet soon though, and hopefully if the weather holds, we can do something non-pub related. I've had a couple of things suggested to me, just depends on what the members want to do.
On Sunday, after the madness of Saturday, I offered to show two of the sister's mates around Dublin, showing them historical buildings and all that. One of the girls who travelled over didn't drink or smoke or like Rugby so the poor thing was probably bored out of her mind all Saturday. At 8 o'clock on Sunday morning, I was up doing some research and checking dates for them. Luckily for me, the farewell we had planned for one of the team was cancelled as the guy had something else to do so we will be rescheduling. 9.30 and we set off around Dublin taking in amongst other things, the four courts, 16 Moore Street, The GPO, the Custom House, the famine memorial, jeanine Johnston, The long stone, College Green, Trinity College, Molly Malone and then finishing up in Dublin Castle. One of the girls is quite funny, she hasn't got much english so I had to talk very slow, or as slow as I could manage. Which is quite difficult.
She knew nothing about our history, so I had to do the 'squeeze as much as you can into 2 hours'. I tried to explain the 1916 Rising, the whole issue with the british, the northern Ireland situation. But the funniest had to be the famine memorial. I was on the phone when we arrived and I guess, for me, the famine is the biggest thing historically and so I tend to assume everyone knows about. Stupid I know. But the girl L, was looking at the statues and I could hear her talking to H, the other girl and asking her questions. Eventually she comes up to me with the cutest curious expression on her face
"But why are they hungry?"
Naturally, any opportunity to talk about An Gorta Mor and educate people in something that ultimately shaped our country was welcomed by me. As luck would have it the Jeanie Johnston was in harbour so we paid a visit. They were both shocked and horrifed with all the facts that they learned whilst on board. One of the crew, was chatting to us and filling us in on more information about the ship and what it was about. She told us they were travelling on to the UK from Dublin and I asked what sort of reaction do they get in different areas. She told us a story about how the previous day, an eldery english lady got on and looked around, before turning to the crew lady and declaring
"Well, this is all wrong, this is obviously propaganda. There was no famine and your history books need to be re-written to reflect that"
What can you say to that kind of ignorance. I couldn't believe that anyone would even think that? The mind boggles.
Today I am off work :) Time worked up on that mad project, days off are great. Granted I may spend some of it working, but I will enjoy the day.A few hectic days coming up, I've to meet up with a good mate from my college days tomorrow, we lived together for 4 years and I haven't seen her in over 2 years. You'd swear she was living abroad, she's only in Meath! It will be good to catch up with her.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Tayto and blue hair
The kid is in Cavan at the moment. The mate A's family has a house up there. Don't ask me where she meets these people. Apparently A's mum tried sucide last week and is still in hospital. A just wants to get away for a while and so asked the kid if she wanted to come along. The kid misses the country a fair bit so it worked out quite well. They headed off yesterday. Mammy2 rang me to tell me on redhead and one bluehead dropped by her office to get the bus fare. Hope she has a relaxing time. It was strange getting up this morning and no sign of her around. The place
looked very much how I left it the night before. Although she stayed over at K's during the week as well, she's becoming a wee bit independent. Soon she'll be flying the nest and we won't know what to do. As if!
This week was a bit manic. Mamma Mia on Wedensday was the best! I loved every minute of it and I only didn't recognise one song. I'm not sure if this is something I should be proud of or not. But I LOVED it! Its such a feel good show. I would recommend going to see it. Last night I had a work do, one of the guys who work here is leaving. He's moving to Italy so we were all in the market bar. I wasn't in a social mood so I stayed out until around 9. They were
heading on to karoke, mad feckers that they are. I then dropped by the Flounge, the mate R and a few people were out, spudlets as they are called. There were a few spudlets out and about, twas great to see them all! Although I didn't really have the energy for it. The sister and her gang fly in tonight for the rugby. Its going to be a mad weekend. I was walking to work this morning and noticed for the first time that the english flag is up nowhere. Usually when pubs are showing the matches , they hang the irish flag and the oppostions flag outside the pub. One place just had the irish flag and an empty flag pole where the english one is supposed to be. Another pub had the 6 flags, but the irish one was up twice. I'm not sure the thought process behind this but personally I think it ridiculous.
There are lots of rumours are riots and all that tomorrow. I really hope not. Its a game of rugby in a historic stadium. End of story. Some people will use any excuse to show their ignorance and hatred. But yay for rugby. My ovaries will be ever so happy. For once. The weekend promises to be a bit hectic, on Sunday we have a farewell do for one of the team who has stepped down. Chances are it will be an emotional one. I have taken Monday off and I plan on doing nothing. This plan will probably be replaced by the spud re-design. I am taking forever to do this. Damn CSS and me being a perfectionist. I get to lie though, when everyone else is getting up for work I can turn over and burrow further down into my comfy pillow :)
looked very much how I left it the night before. Although she stayed over at K's during the week as well, she's becoming a wee bit independent. Soon she'll be flying the nest and we won't know what to do. As if!
This week was a bit manic. Mamma Mia on Wedensday was the best! I loved every minute of it and I only didn't recognise one song. I'm not sure if this is something I should be proud of or not. But I LOVED it! Its such a feel good show. I would recommend going to see it. Last night I had a work do, one of the guys who work here is leaving. He's moving to Italy so we were all in the market bar. I wasn't in a social mood so I stayed out until around 9. They were
heading on to karoke, mad feckers that they are. I then dropped by the Flounge, the mate R and a few people were out, spudlets as they are called. There were a few spudlets out and about, twas great to see them all! Although I didn't really have the energy for it. The sister and her gang fly in tonight for the rugby. Its going to be a mad weekend. I was walking to work this morning and noticed for the first time that the english flag is up nowhere. Usually when pubs are showing the matches , they hang the irish flag and the oppostions flag outside the pub. One place just had the irish flag and an empty flag pole where the english one is supposed to be. Another pub had the 6 flags, but the irish one was up twice. I'm not sure the thought process behind this but personally I think it ridiculous.
There are lots of rumours are riots and all that tomorrow. I really hope not. Its a game of rugby in a historic stadium. End of story. Some people will use any excuse to show their ignorance and hatred. But yay for rugby. My ovaries will be ever so happy. For once. The weekend promises to be a bit hectic, on Sunday we have a farewell do for one of the team who has stepped down. Chances are it will be an emotional one. I have taken Monday off and I plan on doing nothing. This plan will probably be replaced by the spud re-design. I am taking forever to do this. Damn CSS and me being a perfectionist. I get to lie though, when everyone else is getting up for work I can turn over and burrow further down into my comfy pillow :)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Work and DEBS
Walking to work in the morning can sometimes be akin to the Krypton Factor. I have to pass by the fruit markets that are on Mary Street and its all go. Yesterday morning I could have sworn the forklift that shot past me was being driven by a 12 year old. I think he even had a cushion under him to make appear taller then he was. You need all your wits about you when passing these lot. I spotted bags and bags of potatoes and paused to admire them and nearly got a fork up the back passage. Whatever you're into your-self, each to their own and all that, but of an average morning I'd prefer not to have a forklift sticking out of my trousers.
The last 2 days work wise have been mad, I worked until 8 on Monday and yesterday there was a bug in my code that caused my head to explode. I got it fixed, well sort of. As a result of mad hours, I've hardly seen the kid. She was off hanging on the Monday and sent us a txt asking us if she could stay over at the mates K that night. Naturally we had to second guess, ponder, wonder and double check what she was up to. Finally we realised she's 17 years of age and its a mate we know. We agree. Sometimes I think we are a tad over caustious. With all that's happened I suppose you can unnerstand it. Last night was date night! With both of us having so much going on, we need to set aside time for just us and last night we caught up on all the goings on. It was fab! We chatted about the work situation
and what Mammy2 is going to do regards the job. I think, if she's strong enough she's going to stick it out as best she can. I told her that her health is the most important thing and we can take out another loan if necessary. She is not to be putting herself in a position which could make her sicker. So we'll play it by ear for the next while. Finances are okay as long as she's in work. With the kid being a sponge when it comes to money, we need the cash coming in. 120 euros next week for her Debs.
Her DEBS is in September? I'll never understand what all this money is necessary for. On the good side, my tax got adjusted as a result of paying over 1600 a year for meds. Apparently I am in the single parent bracket. Strange that.
My nixers have come to a halt and I have mixed feelings about it. In one way, I love to be kept busy as it keeps my mind off things, although on the other hand sometimes I want to do over stuff. So I guess I just have to deal with whatever feelings may arise as a result of me not having 3235 things to do. That sounded
terribly dramatic didn't it?!
* slaps self *
No attempt this month, our man is traveling the country at the moment. Might be good to clean the body out, drink more green tea and see what other drugs I can beat into me! I am going to go to the doctor and get checked out though, just to see if everything is in working order.
The boyf is still around, they went to the movies last night. I thought for sure on Sunday he was gone, but I think and I know this may sound cold, but she's waiting until he does something wrong. She never leaves them until they have done something and then she can justify breaking their heart. The poor things. She's so different to myself or my sister. I can count on one hand the amount of boyfriends and/or girlfriends I've had. I love the way I use the plural to imply I have had some :)
The last 2 days work wise have been mad, I worked until 8 on Monday and yesterday there was a bug in my code that caused my head to explode. I got it fixed, well sort of. As a result of mad hours, I've hardly seen the kid. She was off hanging on the Monday and sent us a txt asking us if she could stay over at the mates K that night. Naturally we had to second guess, ponder, wonder and double check what she was up to. Finally we realised she's 17 years of age and its a mate we know. We agree. Sometimes I think we are a tad over caustious. With all that's happened I suppose you can unnerstand it. Last night was date night! With both of us having so much going on, we need to set aside time for just us and last night we caught up on all the goings on. It was fab! We chatted about the work situation
and what Mammy2 is going to do regards the job. I think, if she's strong enough she's going to stick it out as best she can. I told her that her health is the most important thing and we can take out another loan if necessary. She is not to be putting herself in a position which could make her sicker. So we'll play it by ear for the next while. Finances are okay as long as she's in work. With the kid being a sponge when it comes to money, we need the cash coming in. 120 euros next week for her Debs.
Her DEBS is in September? I'll never understand what all this money is necessary for. On the good side, my tax got adjusted as a result of paying over 1600 a year for meds. Apparently I am in the single parent bracket. Strange that.
My nixers have come to a halt and I have mixed feelings about it. In one way, I love to be kept busy as it keeps my mind off things, although on the other hand sometimes I want to do over stuff. So I guess I just have to deal with whatever feelings may arise as a result of me not having 3235 things to do. That sounded
terribly dramatic didn't it?!
* slaps self *
No attempt this month, our man is traveling the country at the moment. Might be good to clean the body out, drink more green tea and see what other drugs I can beat into me! I am going to go to the doctor and get checked out though, just to see if everything is in working order.
The boyf is still around, they went to the movies last night. I thought for sure on Sunday he was gone, but I think and I know this may sound cold, but she's waiting until he does something wrong. She never leaves them until they have done something and then she can justify breaking their heart. The poor things. She's so different to myself or my sister. I can count on one hand the amount of boyfriends and/or girlfriends I've had. I love the way I use the plural to imply I have had some :)
Monday, February 19, 2007
Welcome to Ward 4
The weekend was spent feeling like an extra in those shows about hospitals. Without the dramatic We need insert big medical term in here STAT. More like Doctor Quinn Medicine woman, ala she's sleeping now. As you already know, the kid doesn't have the bird flu but rather a bad case of the flu. In her defence, she is very sick. Most of the weekend she was coughing , when she's wasn't retching from all the coughing. Add Mammy2's catching it and you have some idea what chez titch was like for the weekend. They were doing lines of neurofen, Vitamin C, lemsip, you name it, if it had can cause relief from colds, then they took it. Friday night was rough, Mammy2 couldn't sleep because of her coughing so much and as a result, I didn't get much sleep. The poor thing was dying. We were supposed to go visit on Saturday evening, and she was insisting she was grand despite not being able to talk at all. I put my food down and told them both they were not leaving the house.
I however needed a break from all the germs floating around so I took a stroll up town to get the kid's antidepressants. I'm pretty sure the chemist people think that the kid and Mammy2 don't exist and I just keep tanking myself up on anti-depressants for the crack like. There was a new lady behind the counter, a real Dublin mammy and the look on her face when she read out how much the pills cost. She looks at me to see if I am equally as shocked, but sure I've been buying them for the last 2 years so the shock factor is gone. "64 euros?? Is that right" I nod and hand over my card. She shakes her head and mutters something about the cost of meds these days. It was a lovely
spring day, and I felt like I was down the country. Well, if I ignored the loud people in Temple Bar that is. And took away the buildings. And there was more greenery. Okay, so it was nothing like being down the country, but I can dream!
Sunday morning and the kid barrels out of the bedroom with her phone in parts. I'm pretty sure its not supposed to be in parts. She claims its shit and crap and blah blah. I said when she was better this week, she could drop it up the Metor shop where the brother bought it. She muttered something about the boyf coming up and he would drop it up for her. Poor man, hasn't seen her all week and I have the feeling is about to get the boot and now he was to go and get her phone fixed. She's a bossy wee thing. Once Mammy2 surfaced, we battled ClearWater shopping centre.The gayest Tesco in Dublin. Lesbians in aisle 4, gay men stuck between the yoghurts and the milk. Its like Pride, every weekend. Without the flags obviously.
The shopping was done, the kid was happy. As it was the first time Mammy2 had left the house all weekend, she was wrecked afterwards and had to have a lie down. Which left me to cook dinner. Ordinarily I can manage, but I was a tad stressed and so by the time Mammy2 comes out, the smoke from the kitchen sets off the smoke alarm and I've fallen out with the brocoli. Which I am convinced its the devil's vegetable. Right up there with aubergines and courgettes. I called the kid. She was busy throwing up on the toilet. With the boyf being supportive and holding her hair back. Once she had finished not getting sick, she managed to sit down and eat dinner. I had a feeling it was like the boyf's last supper. I give him another week. Or so.
Beyond stressed, I had arranged to meet the mate R up town. Emotionally exhuasting is the only way I can describe the evenings. Its always fun hanging out with her, but sometimes she has stuff to deal with and she has her off days. This was one of them. I don't know how to deal with that.
I however needed a break from all the germs floating around so I took a stroll up town to get the kid's antidepressants. I'm pretty sure the chemist people think that the kid and Mammy2 don't exist and I just keep tanking myself up on anti-depressants for the crack like. There was a new lady behind the counter, a real Dublin mammy and the look on her face when she read out how much the pills cost. She looks at me to see if I am equally as shocked, but sure I've been buying them for the last 2 years so the shock factor is gone. "64 euros?? Is that right" I nod and hand over my card. She shakes her head and mutters something about the cost of meds these days. It was a lovely
spring day, and I felt like I was down the country. Well, if I ignored the loud people in Temple Bar that is. And took away the buildings. And there was more greenery. Okay, so it was nothing like being down the country, but I can dream!
Sunday morning and the kid barrels out of the bedroom with her phone in parts. I'm pretty sure its not supposed to be in parts. She claims its shit and crap and blah blah. I said when she was better this week, she could drop it up the Metor shop where the brother bought it. She muttered something about the boyf coming up and he would drop it up for her. Poor man, hasn't seen her all week and I have the feeling is about to get the boot and now he was to go and get her phone fixed. She's a bossy wee thing. Once Mammy2 surfaced, we battled ClearWater shopping centre.The gayest Tesco in Dublin. Lesbians in aisle 4, gay men stuck between the yoghurts and the milk. Its like Pride, every weekend. Without the flags obviously.
The shopping was done, the kid was happy. As it was the first time Mammy2 had left the house all weekend, she was wrecked afterwards and had to have a lie down. Which left me to cook dinner. Ordinarily I can manage, but I was a tad stressed and so by the time Mammy2 comes out, the smoke from the kitchen sets off the smoke alarm and I've fallen out with the brocoli. Which I am convinced its the devil's vegetable. Right up there with aubergines and courgettes. I called the kid. She was busy throwing up on the toilet. With the boyf being supportive and holding her hair back. Once she had finished not getting sick, she managed to sit down and eat dinner. I had a feeling it was like the boyf's last supper. I give him another week. Or so.
Beyond stressed, I had arranged to meet the mate R up town. Emotionally exhuasting is the only way I can describe the evenings. Its always fun hanging out with her, but sometimes she has stuff to deal with and she has her off days. This was one of them. I don't know how to deal with that.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Thank crunchie and random acts of thoughtfulness
Its Friday. This week has been so long. Perhaps because we're back from holidays, perhaps its cause the kid has been sick or perhaps it just is a long week. Who knows! But its the weekend. And I don't have too much extra work to do. Mammy2 still hasn't come to a descision about work. I don't want to put any pressure on her, she's been quite stressed. Yesterday, the kid managed to make it into school. She is really sick this time and I know we sound like the
worst parents in the world going on about her constantly being sick. I guess when you have her every other day talking about her headaches, her migraines, her frontal lobotomy, her dodgy leg, her back , her stomach, you tend to take her complaints with a pinch of salt. Mammy2 rang me after lunch to say the school had rang and so I kept an eye on my phone to see if they would call. Up until 4 there was no word, finally my work phone rang. The kid had collapsed and they called an ambulance. She was okay, they took her blood pressue and all that, but it was just a precautionery measure. I spoke to her then and she said she just blacked out. With the dose she has its quite possible, but again she often tells us how she feels faint. Anyways, I chatted to her, the mate K was going to go home with her. She missed Art today, which is a pity because she really needs to time herself doing the papers. As its mid term next week, we could probably pick a day for her to sit her paper.
I have Monday week. I am so excited. I worked a weekend a while ago for the project I'm working on and I can get it back as time in lieu. I plan on doing nothing! Hopefully! The sister is over from Holland with a gang for the rugby so it will be a mad weekend. Also one of the people who help take of my website has stepped down from the team and its his leaving do that weekend. Its so silly, but I was nearly in tears accepting his resignation. He has a huge amount of stuff going on and just doesn't have the time. He's such a loss though. He's been with me since I started working with forums way back in the GCN days, when he was 16. Its mad. I won't start talking about it again else I'll be in tears. Sap that I am.
I went to see Blackbird , a play on paedophiles last night. A conversation I had a few weeks ago had rasied the issue with me and the discussion about whether a 12 year old can make a descision regarding consent and all that. I guess I wanted to see what take the play would have. It was excellent, I'd recommend going to see it. Uncomfortable subject matter and a couple of times its like you are being slapped across the face. Light entertainment its not. I haven't really had time to process it yet, but I will. The weekend is already booked up. We need to stop making friends! We've been invited for tea and cake tomorrow. One of the lovely people who post on my site, we got to know him and he lives around the corner from us and has invited us around. How could we refuse. Sunday,
we're heading to Mammy2's auntie's for dinner. She's a mad woman, used to be a nun but gave it up. She's great fun so it shouldn't be too taxing.
Another person who I know through my website was chatting to me this morning, about the blog. I was surprised they had found it as I don't really list it anywhere. But they had been reading it and had managed to find Tweed. Not one but 2 bottles of it! I am so chuffed, the kid is going to be delighted! It was such a nice thing to do.
worst parents in the world going on about her constantly being sick. I guess when you have her every other day talking about her headaches, her migraines, her frontal lobotomy, her dodgy leg, her back , her stomach, you tend to take her complaints with a pinch of salt. Mammy2 rang me after lunch to say the school had rang and so I kept an eye on my phone to see if they would call. Up until 4 there was no word, finally my work phone rang. The kid had collapsed and they called an ambulance. She was okay, they took her blood pressue and all that, but it was just a precautionery measure. I spoke to her then and she said she just blacked out. With the dose she has its quite possible, but again she often tells us how she feels faint. Anyways, I chatted to her, the mate K was going to go home with her. She missed Art today, which is a pity because she really needs to time herself doing the papers. As its mid term next week, we could probably pick a day for her to sit her paper.
I have Monday week. I am so excited. I worked a weekend a while ago for the project I'm working on and I can get it back as time in lieu. I plan on doing nothing! Hopefully! The sister is over from Holland with a gang for the rugby so it will be a mad weekend. Also one of the people who help take of my website has stepped down from the team and its his leaving do that weekend. Its so silly, but I was nearly in tears accepting his resignation. He has a huge amount of stuff going on and just doesn't have the time. He's such a loss though. He's been with me since I started working with forums way back in the GCN days, when he was 16. Its mad. I won't start talking about it again else I'll be in tears. Sap that I am.
I went to see Blackbird , a play on paedophiles last night. A conversation I had a few weeks ago had rasied the issue with me and the discussion about whether a 12 year old can make a descision regarding consent and all that. I guess I wanted to see what take the play would have. It was excellent, I'd recommend going to see it. Uncomfortable subject matter and a couple of times its like you are being slapped across the face. Light entertainment its not. I haven't really had time to process it yet, but I will. The weekend is already booked up. We need to stop making friends! We've been invited for tea and cake tomorrow. One of the lovely people who post on my site, we got to know him and he lives around the corner from us and has invited us around. How could we refuse. Sunday,
we're heading to Mammy2's auntie's for dinner. She's a mad woman, used to be a nun but gave it up. She's great fun so it shouldn't be too taxing.
Another person who I know through my website was chatting to me this morning, about the blog. I was surprised they had found it as I don't really list it anywhere. But they had been reading it and had managed to find Tweed. Not one but 2 bottles of it! I am so chuffed, the kid is going to be delighted! It was such a nice thing to do.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Staff Pics and Valentines
The weather was bad this morning, bad in the sense that I had a shower and then walked to work through a gale force wind. I blew into reception here and was told that the new staff pics were being taken today for our ID. The words dragged through a bush backwards came to mind. They took the pic, I looked like shite. end of. Thank feck its over with for another year. I equate getting my picture taken with a trip to the dentist. So yesterday was that romantic day.
Not a huge fan but sure if has to be done. I don't have a romantic bone in my body so it takes some effort! The kid was home from school sick. Its not bird flu as we had orginially though. Its some flu or something. In her defence, she is dying of it, I guess we are just so used to hearing how she has everything under the sun that our sympathy runs thin. The plan was to cook dinner and chill out. I got a txt from her asking me to make mash. This usually means she's trying to get back on my good side, I was pretty annoyed with her for missing some of her mocks. I txted her back telling her it was valentines night and she could shag off. Or something to that effect. I then rang her and told her our plans, so in her defence she said she'd hang out in the room.
I met Mammy2 after work for a drink and she had bought some stuff for dinner. She knows me too well and opted for the smallest cubed potatoes in the world which were yummy! I don't trust anyone to cook potatoes for me, well apart from mama titch and I am not about to have a senance and ask her to come back and cook for me. That would be a tad selfish.
I seem to have shaken off the cold that had enveloped me on Tuesday. I think the batteries needed re-charging. That and I don't make a good patient. I was in a bad mood because I was sick and the others were oblivious. I can be such a stroppy one at times. I guess because when they're sick, I do everything for them, go to the chemist, stock up on 7-up and cough mixture, make sure there's a hot water bottle in the bed for them. etc The little things. I just had to take care of myself. I got out of that feel sorry for myself funk pretty quickly. After all the kid is a teenager and after themselves as a priority, its themselves, themselves and then themselves. Mammy2 has been stressed out with work so I should go easy on them and stop demanding attention and pouting!
I think the boyfriend is on the way out. I had a feeling for the last while and last night she asked me about had I ever liked someone who was also in a relationship and what should her 'friend' do who was in this situation. I had chatted to Mammy2 about the new best mate K and how she was lovely and how it was great she could be just friends with someone. But now I think there might be more to it. It makes me sad in a way I guess that there might be more to it then just friendship. Sometimes I think she just needs a friend.
Not a huge fan but sure if has to be done. I don't have a romantic bone in my body so it takes some effort! The kid was home from school sick. Its not bird flu as we had orginially though. Its some flu or something. In her defence, she is dying of it, I guess we are just so used to hearing how she has everything under the sun that our sympathy runs thin. The plan was to cook dinner and chill out. I got a txt from her asking me to make mash. This usually means she's trying to get back on my good side, I was pretty annoyed with her for missing some of her mocks. I txted her back telling her it was valentines night and she could shag off. Or something to that effect. I then rang her and told her our plans, so in her defence she said she'd hang out in the room.
I met Mammy2 after work for a drink and she had bought some stuff for dinner. She knows me too well and opted for the smallest cubed potatoes in the world which were yummy! I don't trust anyone to cook potatoes for me, well apart from mama titch and I am not about to have a senance and ask her to come back and cook for me. That would be a tad selfish.
I seem to have shaken off the cold that had enveloped me on Tuesday. I think the batteries needed re-charging. That and I don't make a good patient. I was in a bad mood because I was sick and the others were oblivious. I can be such a stroppy one at times. I guess because when they're sick, I do everything for them, go to the chemist, stock up on 7-up and cough mixture, make sure there's a hot water bottle in the bed for them. etc The little things. I just had to take care of myself. I got out of that feel sorry for myself funk pretty quickly. After all the kid is a teenager and after themselves as a priority, its themselves, themselves and then themselves. Mammy2 has been stressed out with work so I should go easy on them and stop demanding attention and pouting!
I think the boyfriend is on the way out. I had a feeling for the last while and last night she asked me about had I ever liked someone who was also in a relationship and what should her 'friend' do who was in this situation. I had chatted to Mammy2 about the new best mate K and how she was lovely and how it was great she could be just friends with someone. But now I think there might be more to it. It makes me sad in a way I guess that there might be more to it then just friendship. Sometimes I think she just needs a friend.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Pizza & Wine
Can you shut your eyes and turn away from me
I'm gonna say some things I've never said before
And I'm feeling kind of stupid and I'm feeling kind of shy
But they're building up inside of me and I have to let you hear them
Cos you never know, the world might end and one of us might die,
Don't be laughing, but I love the way you smile.
Could you maybe close your ears and talk to someone else
While I tell you things I've never said before,
Cos I'm feeling kind of stupid and I'm feeling kind of shy.
That I've not been used to tenderness and I've not been used to being kissed
Or being held for hours at a time, eating pizza and drinking wine.
Oh I love the way you put your hand in mine.
Could you ever reach behind you and turn the music up,
While I say some things I've never said before,
But it's getting easier to tell you more and more.
That I always dreamed of waking up to singing in my ear, in fact I used to dream of Brian Kennedy
Now you don't even sing in tune, but that's alright with me
Cos I have always loved the way you sing to me.
Now I've always been the scary type,
And I've always felt the need to fight,
My words will pierce the skin and make you bleed.
But you light my fires when I get cold,
You buy me back when I get sold
And you've never been afraid to love me,
And I will always love the way you love me,
I will always love the way you love me.
I'm gonna say some things I've never said before
And I'm feeling kind of stupid and I'm feeling kind of shy
But they're building up inside of me and I have to let you hear them
Cos you never know, the world might end and one of us might die,
Don't be laughing, but I love the way you smile.
Could you maybe close your ears and talk to someone else
While I tell you things I've never said before,
Cos I'm feeling kind of stupid and I'm feeling kind of shy.
That I've not been used to tenderness and I've not been used to being kissed
Or being held for hours at a time, eating pizza and drinking wine.
Oh I love the way you put your hand in mine.
Could you ever reach behind you and turn the music up,
While I say some things I've never said before,
But it's getting easier to tell you more and more.
That I always dreamed of waking up to singing in my ear, in fact I used to dream of Brian Kennedy
Now you don't even sing in tune, but that's alright with me
Cos I have always loved the way you sing to me.
Now I've always been the scary type,
And I've always felt the need to fight,
My words will pierce the skin and make you bleed.
But you light my fires when I get cold,
You buy me back when I get sold
And you've never been afraid to love me,
And I will always love the way you love me,
I will always love the way you love me.
Words by Juliet Turner, published by Sticky Music
the Mocks and Rome
So the kid has started her mocks. She's doing okay. Sometimes I think she's so laid back she's pratically comatose. She's out sick today, something to do with 5 cases of lurgy. Don't ask. I suppose she was well behaved whilst we were away. Rome was great, lots of relaxing which was strange. No being online or coding, I just sat back and appreciated the art and culture of the place. Although the motorists are mental. The green man means nothing to them, so I spent the 4 days hanging on to Mammy2's coat tails. The holiday came at just the right time. It was mad busy in work and with the extra work I do. We had the website's 2nd bday bash and it went really well. A lot of work went into it on behalf of the team and I was delighted everyone had a good night. It was exhausting though, I thought
I might explode from the excitement. The kid and her boyf came along, but left early. Thank god, she's quite hard to keep an eye on and I had to explain to her a number of times that I was fine and the fact that I was running around like a headless chicken was always the way I acted at meets.
Mammy2 is being fired. Not offically of course. Because technically you can't fire someone who is on a back to work scheme for people with disabilities. But you can make sure you will make her life as difficult as possible and she has no choice but to resign. I won't go on a rant on it, I'll only end up tearing my hair out. She's better off and that place is only making her depression worse. I still cannot for the live of me understand how people don't take depression seriously.
Another failed attempt, I took this one badly. I don't know why I thought it might be a success. Perhaps because of the green tea, or the various reactions in my body afterwards which might indicate the ovaries were having a serious think about it. Perhaps because of the rugby and the ovaries react well to shoulders. Who knows. I spent the weekend in a bit of a mope and was out sick yesterday. Feeling a wee bit better today and ready for action again. I guess, its just so frustrating. I see all these people with children, you hear about people getting pregnant every day and I can't even accomplish that much. It feels like such a failure, its one of our basic functions, to reproduce. I continue to blame the ovaries.
The kid handed the portfolio into NCAD. I have everything crossed for her. I hope she gets an offer from there. Its going to be so strange to think of her in college. She's growing up so fast.
I'm going to Mamma Mia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The good pal R bought them for me.
I'm beyond excited, its one of those things I've always wanted to see. YAY!
I might explode from the excitement. The kid and her boyf came along, but left early. Thank god, she's quite hard to keep an eye on and I had to explain to her a number of times that I was fine and the fact that I was running around like a headless chicken was always the way I acted at meets.
Mammy2 is being fired. Not offically of course. Because technically you can't fire someone who is on a back to work scheme for people with disabilities. But you can make sure you will make her life as difficult as possible and she has no choice but to resign. I won't go on a rant on it, I'll only end up tearing my hair out. She's better off and that place is only making her depression worse. I still cannot for the live of me understand how people don't take depression seriously.
Another failed attempt, I took this one badly. I don't know why I thought it might be a success. Perhaps because of the green tea, or the various reactions in my body afterwards which might indicate the ovaries were having a serious think about it. Perhaps because of the rugby and the ovaries react well to shoulders. Who knows. I spent the weekend in a bit of a mope and was out sick yesterday. Feeling a wee bit better today and ready for action again. I guess, its just so frustrating. I see all these people with children, you hear about people getting pregnant every day and I can't even accomplish that much. It feels like such a failure, its one of our basic functions, to reproduce. I continue to blame the ovaries.
The kid handed the portfolio into NCAD. I have everything crossed for her. I hope she gets an offer from there. Its going to be so strange to think of her in college. She's growing up so fast.
I'm going to Mamma Mia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The good pal R bought them for me.
I'm beyond excited, its one of those things I've always wanted to see. YAY!
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