Prehistoric laserbeams and Shirley

Don't look at me strangely, the subject comes from a phone call with the mate R. She's south african and so a little strange. I look positively sane next to her. She was asking me did I think there were any lesbians in the stone ages. She pondered about how it would work with no conversation and what not. I asked her had she been on the scene recently, things hadn't changed all that much. I have reason to believe there still are some prehistoric lesbians out there. She's back in 3 weeks!

The kid is in Holland :) Don't get me wrong, I love that kid to bits, but a whole week without her is just bliss. We dropped herself, the sister and the boyf off at the airport at 5.30 yesterday and literally dust from the wheels to get home! Fair play to the sister for taking her for a week. Its been over a year since we have had the apartment to ourselves for such a long period of time. Yesterday when I finally crawled out of the bed, there was cleaning, christmas decorations to be taken down and what not. Its a job Mammy2 hates and as she was still tucked up in bed with a bad chest infection, I cleaned the place. By the time she arose, the place was spotless and I was working on the PC. She was so groggy at first, she didn't notice any difference. Glasses make a world of difference!

Once the cleaning was done, I did nothing. Well, after playing on the PC for a while, yes I am a nerd. I sat on the couch and watched dvds. For hours. It was a strange sensation. I got to watch Season 2 of Popular, I loved that show in the 90s and the sis got it for my birthday. We got a text from the
kid via the sis. She was looking for the boyf's landline number. She's not a gone a day and she wants to call him. This guy is looking like he might last longer then the others.

I was in strange mood yesterday, tends to happen when I switch off and calm down. Also, the episodes of Popular that I watched were all set in a hospital. One of the characters had leukaemia and was getting treatement. Everything about the scences though brought me back to St James. He had to try and walk by himself and I rememebered Mam. Every day no matter how weak she was, she wanted to try and walk. We'd sit outside and watch her, the hair on the back of her head all ruffled up because she'd been sleeping. She was so frail, and still she yapped away to the nurse about this and that. I guess no matter what a titch suffers from, our speech will be the last thing to do ;) It made me think how thankful I am for all I have in my life at the moment, I know its sounds cliched.
But whilst we are enjoying ourselves on this New Year's eve,there are people all over the country suffering. There are people in waiting rooms in hospitals, not knowing if their loved one is going to make it or not. Enough cheerfulness I hear you say, I just thought I'd put things in perspective. Things are never as bad as they seem. This moment was brought to you courtesy of Hallmark.

I've no idea what we are going to get up to for New Year's. Its the first one in a while where we won't have the kid. Mammy2 hates it, I think she'd rather sleep through it. I love it. Mam loved it, the countdown, the singing, albeit off kilter, of Auld Lang Syne and chatting about the year gone. I'd like to go out but I shall see how Mammy2 is doing. I'd hardly be the best nurse out there if I drag the patient out into the cold. And no, I don't have a uniform. Before you ask. There's a tradition of gathering at Christchurch Cathedral and the bells ring in the new year. It always gets a good crowd, so we might do that. The kid is heading to a New Year's Party with the sister. Did I mention she's turning 18 this year? She's talking about coming
to the birthday bash for my website. It would be great if she did come , except for I'd be in ribbons. She's not ugly, lets put it this way and she gets attention. I've been told by the mate J that the team will be on hand to keep an eye at all times. The poor kid, with a bodyguard on hand. Not that she'd want one. I've been told I'm overprotective? I don't know where these people are coming from! Happy New year!!!

Lyrics

"Do You Realise" - The Flaming Lips

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don'-go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - Oh - Oh - Oh
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun don'-go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face

Friendship

Why do friendships come and go? How does a once-bosom pal wind up erased from your address book? Is a friendship that fades away necessarily a bad thing?

My first inkling that some friendships are meant to be fleeting came in my senior year in university. Friendships there had been especially intense. We'd bonded instantly and tightly, with meandering all-hours conversations about everything from the meaning of life to "What will we wear tonight?" Once I came across a line that seemed to express my 21-year-old angst. It was from James Michener's novel Centennial: 'God, he wished he could ride forever with these men ... but it could not be. Trails end, and companies of men fall apart.'

Of course! Some friendships are meant to be transitory. Like cowboys who had ridden herd together for vast distances, sharing dusty perils and round-the-campfire coffee, my university friends and I had come to the natural end of our path together. It was time to move on. Absurdly obvious, the idea was nevertheless enormously comforting. It had once seemed like a failure to me, to build a friendship only to have it squelched by sudden distance, either physical or emotional. You move across the country and struggle to replicate daily long walks with phone calls or letters. Or one of you has a baby, and the minutiae of changing nappies transforms the built-for-two bicycle into a lop-sided three-legged stool.

And that's OK. Because in addition to our friends of the heart -- the traditional, everlasting ideal -- life is rich with friends of the road who, like Michener's cowpokes, herd with you for a particular stretch and no farther. These brief friendships are equally intense, equally necessary, equally worth treasuring as any other, and for the duration of the ride, you can't survive without them.

-- Paula Spencer in Aspire, and Reader's Digest 1997 January p 122

Post Christmas blues

Although its not really, cause christmas isn't over yet. I think I'm just exhausted. We had a lovely christmas day. Dinner went well, despite the turnips not wanting to take part and the potatoes being divas. There was a stressful few minutes but it all turned out grand in the end. We were saved by the carrots. Thank god for them. And lest I forget brussel sprouts. The sister and her man flew in on the Friday, and it was great to catch up. Mammy2 and the boyf managed to get 2 words in edgeways, and that was about it. And the mate J, who came with us out to the airport. Its tradition to drag someone along. My emotions were all over the place though, before
heading out to the airport and it wasn't PMT. I was welling up every few minutes at anything and everything. So 2 hours in bed and I felt slightly more human.

Saturday we all dropped out to the in-laws to drop off presents and have a chat. They were in great form and it was good for our side of the family to mingle with theirs. Christmas eve the usual game of Pictionary. Whereby they all are brilliant and I suck, apparently. The kid who never likes playing games, she much prefers being online to 12 people at the one time and calling anyone who comes on the telly and EMO, joined in because, "Its such a laugh watching you draw". They have difficulty with the fact that I am good at art yet suck at Pictionary. Feckers. True to form, I had comments like "What on earth is that?" And "Shelly, there is no way that's a country?"

Christmas morning, the kid nearly kills us with a hug at 7.30. She wanted us up and about and opening pressies. The kid got so much stuff. The one that got the best reaction was the Lionel Ritchie CD, yes I did say Lionel Ritchie CD. She loves his music. It doesn't sit well with the death metal stuff she usually listens to but she admits to being a fan.
Mammy2 loved her rugby book and Leinster hat, although I fear the whole book thing may backfire. Its pocket sized, so I reckon we'll be in the middle of watching a six nations game when the book re-appears and she entertains us with all the details on rugby union and its rules.

The day passed as per usual, with lots of eating, drinking and watching films. We worked our way through the Snapper, D.E.B.S and Love Actually. The kid was sniffling whilst she cut her t-shirt up. We got her a stewie t-shirt, which she modifed to make it look like a hanky with just about enough material to cover her breasts. Thank feck. The last 2 nights I have sniffled into my pillow. Anyone who knows me, knows I am not someone who cries at the drop of a hat. My emotions are all over the shop. Last night was worse, I was sobbing? Like hello, could i be more dramatic. I'm sure I could. I am a lesbian after all, its right up with herbal tea and poetry. Between a misunderstanding with a friend and the sister telling me she won't be coming home for christmas next year, I lost the plot.

Its only fair, after all she's come home for the last 3 years and she wants to spend next christmas with her boyf's family. But for me, its just upsetting I guess. Christmas is all about family for me and it will be strange if its just the 3 of us. Or maybe 4 if the ovaries are anyway obliging. Speaking of the feckers, a mate got me green tea for christmas! She's so thoughtful, I'm not a fan of it usually but there is this one blend of it that's quite nice. I shall give it a try, that coupled with less stress and more excercise and voila , pregnant in no time. If there is sperm around. Obviously. I don't think its going to happen by magic.

I think I got tired of christmas this year, I organised a few things and it just felt like no-one was bothered. I had a xmas party for the people on my website, they weren't bothered, titch drinkies went well but I felt people felt they had to attend. The best mate didn't even show up, not a phone call or a txt. I don't know, I don't know if its worth the effort any more. I could just be saying this because I'm tired and emotionally wrung out. Perhaps after a good nights sleep, I'll be counting the days until next year's christmas :)

Work is very quiet, I have loads to do but suffering from a bad dose of CBA. Fanfic is a shocking distraction. I might do most it today and then my other work for the next while. There's enough to keep me going for the next week or so. I'm looking forward to going home this evening, climbing into a hot bath and chilling. If there's room in the bath for me! I got 3 more rubber duckies for christmas and I got what as to be the smallest rubber ducky ever. And he glows in the dark! What more could you ask for from a duck?

Christmas exams and 'studying'

The kid is halfway through her exams and doing well. Or so she tells us. The report will most likely tell us a different story! She did okay at most of them, but French sucked. However, we are great parents. Her reason? She was chatting with her mates in school and they were stressed out as their parents are pressuring them to study and do well and what not. She was telling them how we just leave her to her own devices. I reckon one of the days we'll open the door, and there'll be 12 teenagers wanting to move in with us. Its not that we don't expect her to study, but she is quite academically minded and already puts a lot of stress on herself, so there's no need for us to crack the whip. So to speak. She's hooked on some Playstation game she's started playing. Mammy2 thinks I'm mad, but
I told her I was delighted to see her in the room playing a video game instead of studying. Its hard to explain, but its such a regular teenage thing to do. And lets face it, the last few years have been anything but regular for her. She and her mate are hanging out at the flat this evening, she's dying the mates hair. Its the first time she's brought a friend home since the whole D episode.

The girl sounds like a nice girl, I'm just wary of them all since D, the best friend who went bad. Another mate, they call her google.com cause she knows everything got the kid this HUGE mug for hot chocolate. She'll be drinking
from it until the cows come home! The other sister and her man fly in tomorrow night, its going to be cosy in the apartment with us all. I'd say there may be killings. Thankfully, the kid has the boyf so hopefully he'll keep her entertained in a non i'm going to get you pregnant way. I caught up with the best mate C on Monday, I haven't seen him in ages and he's always great to chat to. He caught up on all the goings on in titch land. And he remembered a christmas present. I wasn't expecting one at all. He's a bloke and as such forgets basics like presents. I left it under the tree though as I don't want to open it until christmas day. That way I have a few pressies to open. We have a few pressies for the kid, but we want something else as well. Well she is the kid, so she deserves to be spoiled :)

I finish up tomorrow but am back in work the day after Stephen's day. Which is a bit pants as we usually have to visit some of the extended family over the christmas and it takes the best part of a day to travel down and back.I may have to talk to my manager and see if we can come to some sort of compromise. I don't think Mam would be too happy with the fact that we haven't visited her grave in months. She might haunt us over the christmas.

We had our team night out on Tuesday, as I was part of the group responsible for organising it, I was a bit stressed about it. But it went really well thank god and everyone had a great time! There was hot ports and champers in the office and we gave out our pressies and then onto Luigi Malones for the dinner. People were a bit ropey yesterday after it, my boss had his son's school play at 10 and got about 4 hours sleep.

Tonight is titch drinkies, a tradition we've had for the last few years. Because of the lack of family members, a few of our close friends are like family and as such we used to have alternative christmas dinner with them. However, it became quite stressful to cook dinner for 6-7 people espeically when people were arriving at different times and what not. So its finger food and whatever they want to drink. Pictionary and christmas music, should be a good laugh. The kid loves it, as she gets lots of attention from everyone. Because she never gets any attention from us :)

Christmas Parties

Its the season for christmas parties. No sign of any photocopier activity though. Shame. I was looking forward to a
bit of scandal. Mammy2 had her party last night. To say that there is a fair amount of office politics where she works
would be putting in mildy. And there's only something like 7 people working there? How much politics can you have
between 7 people. Quite a bit, according to her. I arrived into to a quiet apartment and was then nearly ran over by
Mammy2 leaving the bathroom and heading into the bedroom, with a bra on her head, a pair of trousers around her ankles and a frantic "What will I wear , Shelly?" look in her eye. She settled finally on something was all set, kissed my goodbye and told me she would be home by 8.30. Yes, the meal was at 7.30, she had high plans on enjoying herself. There was talk of a Karoke bar and she said if she saw that they were heading that way, she was heading home. Best laid plans and all that. The kid spent most of the evening on the couch asleep, she had been hanging with her man and was wrecked. SAD seems to really affect her as most evenings when she gets in from school she sleeps for hours and then will sleep all night as well.

I wanted to take a picture of her as she look so peaceful while she's sleeping. Angelic almost, unless you knew her better. I got an early night and awoke to an empty bed at 2.15. For those of you who know Mammy2, staying out past 11 is a late night for her. I checked behind the bed, just in case she had come in earlier and missed the bed and fallen behind it. Stranger things have happened. But there was no sign of her. So of course, in true titch fashion , rather then assume she was having a good time, I assumed the worst and checked my phone. I had gotten a txt so she was obviously okay. 3 o'clock and there's a lot of noise at the door, either we're being burgleg or Mammy2 has arrived home. Sure enough it was herself. Slight inebriated. The trip to the bathroom was fun. I swore that twice I heard her fall into the bath and get back out. She claims she was just standing up from the toilet. She had a grand night, but everyone was bitching to everyone else about each other. I didn't explain that this is usually what happens at parties. The karoke went well, she ended up wrestling people to get the microphone off them. So much for I'm heading home once karoke kicks off.

One of my parties is tonight, I wasn't going to go as I'm not a big office party type person and most of my team aren't going. But there were questions asked as to why people weren't attending. Lots of communication in here as you can tell. I'm going to drop in and show my face. We have our team night out next week and that should be fun. I think one night out with your work crew is enough for most people, never mind 3 or 4. The kid, I won't say has been doing grand, because any time I do something happens. I would make this post, and then the school will ring and it will be the principal asking to speak to the kid's guardian. Something about her holding the entire school hostage or
god only knows what. So I will say she's going in most days. Her christmas exams are next week and she was struggling with Maths so this time she actually asked the maths teacher to explain stuff. It saved her throwing pencils at me because she doesn't understand my teaching methods.

However I am still the best big sister ever. We had sisters night at the weekend. For sisters night, read kids night. She gets all the munchies and I get used as something she has to pinch or squeeze when she gets scared. Which happens quite often. We headed to the dvd store. Its been a while since we rented so we thought there would be a lot to choose from. We had forgotten that the store specialse in never before released and straight to DVD films. Some of the crap that was on the shelves was shocking. We settled on When a Stranger Calls. Sounds ominously like a true lifer, but alas not. If you're thinking of renting this 'thriller', don't read ahead for fear of spoilers. Film opens with a horrific murder. Ominous music. We're 5 minutes in and the kid is on my lap."This looks really good, really scary doesn't it Shelly" I ask her if she could release my right arm and let the blood flow more freely. She takes a break from being wrapped around me and I can breathe again. After murder, we cut to a college. Teenager asked to babysit random couple's kids. Random couple live in isolated Kill Me here so no-one will ever find the body part of town. Lots of trees, long windy roads and no people. Couple leave, teenager takes it handy. Phone calls commence. Teenager freaks out. Turns out freaky phone calls coming from ,wait for it, inside the house. Dun dun dooon or whatever scary music would sound like it if you were to type it out. The kid is sitting on my head at this stage. I'm amazed I can see anything. Short story shorter, she escapes, saves the kids and vows to give up babysitting.
I made the mistake of flicking around the various channels and found Poltergeist, a bit dated. When I say a bit dated, I mean bellbottoms were hitting me in the face as I watched it. But its a good film. A vast improvement of When babysitters die, sorry I mean When a Stranger calls.

Someone stole the baby Jesus

A conversation with the kid yesterday was great fun. She was in fine form, thank god. She managed to get out of detention with the art teacher. Don't ask, a long story. Instead she has to finish her current assignment. Sometimes I think that art teacher is mad. She was yapping away about that and then proceeded to tell me how the crib and the christmas tree was put up in the school. No sooner was it put up, and someone stole the baby jesus and left a ransom note in its place. Asking for 10 euros and they would return the baby jesus safely. The principal made an annoucement before the end of class asking whoever stole it to come forward and return the baby. It just sounds too funny. According to herself, a 6th year stole it, chucked it out the window and doesn't know where it ended up. So I don't know what they are going to do if the ransom is paid.

The kid wore a santy hat in and was allowed wear it in class. I think the teachers must be getting into the festive spirit although the art teacher asked her to remove it. Surprise surprise. I'm convinced she's a Jeckell and Hyde type of person.

Yesterday was so stressful, I am doing really well at controlling it :) Tayto and chocolate at the same time. Things were getting bad. I had meetings about meetings and more meetings about documents that I had to finish and documents I have yet to start. I worked late, got home wrecked but the kid was in great form and decided to try and calm me down. By initally asking me when we were going to buy a house or apartment and where would we live. I think she noticed the steam coming out of my ears. She helped me wrap up a parcel I have to post today, I think I was being a bit ambitious by thinking the presents would fit into the box I bought. They really should have display boxes. I mean, you look at it, you think it will fit and then you try to squeeze everything in. To add insult to injury I just checked the dates and apparently I've missed the last date for posting?!

Shazzbot. It looks like it will be a new year gift. Pants.

After wrestling with the present and getting more stressed, I had thought I would do some more work. Who was I fooling, went online, got ranted at for a while, decided I'd had enough of that and logged off. The kid at this must have been picking up on the stress vibes as she disappeared. 10 minutes later she grabs my hand, throws a towel at me and brings me into the bathroom where she has run a bath for me. How sweet was that. Although I was on alert for her looking for something, it turns out she was being nice and looking after me. I must have appeared quite stressed. A hot bath, bed and some of my happy music, I was so relaxed! I even managed to do the morning shift this morning. Check me out. Its onto more documents and meetings, but I finish today until Tuesday. I can't complain :)

Much ado about....

Processing takes time, I'm beginning to see this now. My initial reactions of what the feic was the kid thinking and how I was thankful she miscarried. Also, I guess both myself and Mammy2 were in denial about it being a miscarriage and were of the opinion it was a late period. She had a checkup yesterday at the Rotunda. According to the doctors, it was a miscarriage and she was 7 weeks gone. I'd be interested to see how they do their maths? I've become fairly familar with the workings of my own body with having attempts so its 2 weeks from ovulation to period and 2 weeks from period to ovulation, if your cycle is regular. So if she did the test when she was late, she would have been
only 3 weeks gone? Or something
* head implodes *

Anyways, she's doing better. I'm trying to understand why she was so upset. I guess I can't see it from her point of view. She's 17, with her whole life ahead of her and she's upset about this. I need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture I suppose. I got some good advice from one of the mates, she's very good at advice so I'm going to take it on board. I'm also going to try and get it into my head that the kid is no longer a kid but she's turning into a young woman. The brother rang at the weekend. I haven't heard from him since I asked him over 20 times to put some money into the college fund. Apparently he's getting it sorted. Like I told the sister, I'll believe it when I see it. Its supposed to be going in this Friday. But at least we're talking again, I hate falling out with him. But he is beyond head wrecking at times. Mam wouldn't like us to be fighting over the christmas period either so its worked out okay thank god.

He was chatting away about how our cousin, his half brother has moved in with him for the moment. P was one of the nicer cousins, and is also the brother's half brother. Confused? Good! I may have mentioned before about the kid being abused by one of the cousins when she was about 5 or 6. Not this cousin obviously. P's brother E was the little shit who put his hands near the kid and hasn't been allowed within a 10 yard radius of the family house since. Arsehole. P and the brother were watching Law and Order SVU, cheerful viewing, and the subject of abuse came up. P tried suggesting that the kid led E on. She was 6? And she led him on! I mean WTF? Thankfully the brother threatened to put him through the wall if he suggested such a thing again. Where do you begin to deal with someone who thinks like that? Thankfully I wasn't around or P would be sleeping in a hostel with a few broken bones.

I've put in for Friday and Monday off, as I can't take leave over the christmas. Its a bit pants but I'm looking forward to a couple of days off. I'm under orders to do no work. We'll see! The kid has an appointment to go get an x-ray in James. Everytime she goes to the doctor, she comes out with more illnesses and injuries then she went in with. I blame the doctor, she should stop caring about her patients. Thankfully, the lanky boyf L is bringing her as I told her I didn't think I could face James Hospital. She'll probably come home with crutches. Knowing her. And she'll use them to assuault her Art teacher. That love-hate-hate relationship continues. Her latest project is a poster for Rag Week, to see she is unimpressed with the assignment is putting it mildly. Its still sitting on the living room floor. She also managed to get detention. For not going to Newgrange. I can see the Art teacher being top of her hit list. Maths is going well for her, she has moved on from the evils of probability thankfully. It gave me a headache as well as her.

Christmas shopping takes place on Friday thankfully, finally we can put some pressies under the tree! Yay!

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

The last few days can be summariesed in the following few words. Stress, work, stress, work, more work, baby attempts and that Friday feeling! A long, long chat was had with the kid on Wedensday night. Somethings were explained that she might not have been or was not interested enough
in to care about. She appeared to take it and chez titch is a happier home once more. Thank god. She's off to the doctor this evening and is getting her perscription for the pill. One headache down, 10 to go. I wonder if I made a tape and played it every night to her whilst she was asleep along
the lines of how bad sex is for you and you may die if you ever sleep with someone again? A tad harsh?

Maybe. Family meetings over, its time to get pregnant. Yes, nicely squeezed in there between family meetings and work. On with the mood. I perhaps am one of the few people who considers a syringe a sex toy. I lead a sheltered life, okay? Par example, oral sex? Up until the tender age of 24, I assumed it was a bunch of people sitting around talking about sex.

Our man had a hot date so he did his thang and left. We were only going to have one attempt as the early morning he had planned wasn't going to work for us but as it turns out he ended up leaving later so we thought ah sure feck it. You never know, it could be the one. Domestic bliss as the kid legs it from the toilet, he heads into the bathroom, Mammy2 is making her lunch and I'm writing her a note as to why she was absent for the 2 previous days. The kid is dispatched, our man leaves, its on with the Barry White music and baby making. If this attempt isn't successful, I may take a trip to the doc and see what's going on. Or perhaps it might be because I haven't started drinking green tea. Mainly because I don't believe it has magic baby making abilities, much like that article during the week about women who eat roast potatoes are more likely to get pregnant? Please? I should be dropping sproglets every 5 minutes if that was the case.

I got a phone call from the uncle in england today. I haven't heard from him in eons and I assumed he was after something. I was right. He needs me to get a copy of his birth cert and send it him so he can get his passport. I made the mistake of asking where his passport ended up. Long story involving it being 'stolen' not sold and what not. He is such a shyster. You know Delboy in Only Fools and Horses, he has nothing on this character. He's the bad boy of the family. I get along with him, in small doses. He is the funny uncle and the one you always end up telling stories. I suppose he was also the closest thing to a father figure I had when we moved from the family home to live with the grandparents. Its amazing I turned out as responsible as I did with him as a role model.

I found out that I have to work over the christmas AND I'm on call. Pants to that. In fairness on call just involves leaving the phone off. I only ever got a call once and it was a mistake. Granted, the support person didn't realise this until I was in work and at my PC. 10 o'clock of a Sunday morning. But its Christmas! And I want to put up the decorations in here, the boss has been been very understanding and agreed. But one of the guys wants us to wait until Monday as he has some decorations he wants to bring in. So I'll hold off for a while. Just about! I asked the receptionist when was the tree going up and she said that she'd ask Facilities and see what the sceal is. Apparently, I wasn't the first to ask.

* assumes smug face *
So there's another person out there who's more into christmas then me. Who knew? Along with christmas comes the efforts of the guards to ensure traffic jams, I mean traffic flow. Operation Freeflow. I love it because there's a female guard at most junctions. They are so cute. And pocket sized. Seriously that height restriction must have been dropped as soon as I decided I didn't want to become a guard. I'm glad now. Because its quite hard to have a fantasy about a uniform that you have to iron every morning. That's probably an overshare.

The kid has three weeks and then she's off on holidays for the christmas. If she survives until then and the art teacher hasn't killed her in the meantime. They've come to blows again and she's going to the vice-principle to give out about her. Some day we will have a full week in school with no incidents. Granted, it will be when she's finished. She's also off to Holland for the new year. Seven days without her around. I think a break will do us all good but with the last year I cannot wait for a break :)

guide book? Anyone?

There has to be a guide out there for parents? Some sort of how to be a brill parent in 24 hours jobby? Because right now I think we need it. Or maybe I need it. Mammy2 appears to be taking everything in her stride.

Things to cause panic in parents/guardians

- When left alone for a night, boyfriend stays over. Breaking Rule Number 342 which CLEARLY states that when parentals are not around, boyf is not allowed within a 20 yard radius of the apartment let alone stay over.

- Late period, after telling us that yes , she did a test last week and it was positive clearly breaking Rule 32 subsection B which states she must never EVER had sex, Rule 5 which states if she is doing 'stuff' she has to take responsibility for her actions and Rule 65 part A, which states if she does have sex, she is not to tell me. EVER.

- her thinking that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if she did have a kid. * head explodes *

Before you all start congratulating us or commiserating with us, she was 2 weeks late. Granted, she was in a lot more pain then usual which makes us think chances are there was something there. * Blesses self * People wonder why we are stressed so much. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Where do you go from here? Locking her up? Beating seven shades of yer man. This would require a ladder as the fecker is over 6ft.

I must have mistaken when I thought last week that things had calmed down. I now know what to get her for her 18th. A one way trip to a convent. A chasity belt. Anything to stop her being sexually active. In her defence and I suppose this is the only thing we can say for her, is she said she did use protection. My head stopped spinning. Slightly. She's making an appointment for the doctor and getting back on the pill pretty quick smart. From discussing it, she knows that it wouldn't be a good thing, I explained that we are only adjusting still to having her, never mind being grandparents.
* Blesses self again *

In other news, the christmas tree is up. Yay! Mammy2 finally caved. So the apartment looks like Santy has vomited. Not at all tacky. Bit of a strange weekend. Friday night was spent doing housework and singing Bohemian Rhapsody with the kid. Hardcore. I think I'm an EMO. The kid thinks I'm sad. But yes, Friday night and I'm ironing! Mammy2 had a BatttleStar Gallatica marathon with her sister. Yes, she is that much of a nerd. The telly now display everything in greek. Don't ask. Mammy2's attempts to 'tune back in' the DVD channel. We're getting used to it now though. And we can now talk to a greek person if they use the words brightness, volume and contrast in the conversation.

I love Westlife.

I'm getting a great slagging in work these days because I outted myself as a Westlife fan last week. I'm not one of those people who get easily embaressed by the fact that they like rubbish music. Well, rubbish in everyone else's eyes. I love music, all kinds of music, but I do really like Westlife. And Kian. Ahem moving on! They are fab though.They are playing in April and we still don't have tickets. I've dropped subtle hints, I think I may give up on the subtely, its obviously not working.

I got up this morning to a re-arranged living room. I'm not a fan of change as I may have mentioned before. The kid has a habit of re-arranging furniture, often times whilst you are sitting on it. She gets restless if things are in the same place for too long. I suffer from culture shock when this happens. I get used to things being in the same place. I have to say its not as bad as I had envisioned when
Mammy2 mentioned it. Mammy2 has been taking the morning shift these mornings, which is basically only making lunch. Ah , I remember when the morning shift went as follows:

1 - Switch off alarm.
2 - Stagger from bed and call her.
3 - Back to bed, wait for her to get up.
4 - No movement, back into her room. No answer from her.
5 - Eventually she tells you she's not going in
6 - You explain how she needs to go to school, this making sense to niether of ye but you manage it. She drags herself from the bed.
7 - You get get dressed and start to make her lunch. You set the table for breakfast.
8 - She arrives out looking like Marylin Manson.
9 - You explains the school doesn't allow black eye up.
10 - She explains the school is a facist place and its repressing her right to expression.
11 - She talks about dropping out. You ask her does she want ham or cheese in her sandwiches.
12 - She tells you she hates her life. You ask her does she have her bottle of water.
13 - After much grumbling, we leave to walk to the bus.
14 - She tells you she hates school, she's dropping out, she's getting a job. You ask her what she wants for dinner.
15 - She gets on the bus. You head back home, praying she'll last the day.

Compared to now, we have come a long way. She still talks about dropping out, but in a more jokey way. She gets the bus by herself. She's a lot stronger then those days. Thank god. I don't know if we could have survived those early days if things continued as they did. Although, everytime I think things have settled down, something comes along and throws a spanner in the mix. * Crosses fingers and toes *

We were watching a documentary on these 2 women who have been together for 25 years. They had two kids, boys who were teenagers and they were being interviewed about having 2 mammies. The whole family came across really well. Of course Mammy2 was in tears at the end of it, she's such a softy. The kid was talking about how she'd beat anyone up who came near us. I'm not sure what she got from the documentary, or even if she was watching the same thing as us but violence is the answer apparently. After that, we watched a documentary we had taped from Monday night about the first civil partnership in Northern Ireland, Grainne Close and Shannon Sickels. It was fascinating story, the build up to the wedding, the wedding itself, the pressure and stress the 2 women were under. Getting out the car and facing the world's media as well as the bigots and their stupid signposts. They were so brave, pausing for pictures and to make a statement. Two extremely brave women. Mammy2 didn't cry at this, I pinced her a couple of times though and then she did. :)

The kid is even more into her music then I am and so the odd time, she will ask me to 'back up' some music for her. Whilst my writing is bad, her's tend to be a lot more ledigable at times. So when I read her latest list, I assumed I was completly out of touch with music. I had to search for an album, she didn't know the artist, with the song "I woke up in a can". Need less to say I found no music with that track on it. I mean who writes about waking up in a can. Just because I'm not a big lyrics fan doesn't mean I don't listen to them once in a while. As it turns out it was "I woke up in a car". Ahem, which makes a bit more sense. Although with the 'music' she listens to , the first one might probably be a song.

Stress balls...the point?

I have one on my desk. I would assume that the point of them is to de-stress you? I think squeezing them makes not a blind bit of difference. I reckon throwing them at the source of your stress and hearing them hop off the person's head might do more. Very unprofessional though. Don't try it at home folks. The weather gets worse. See how irish I am?If its not death, which if you notice I talk about constantly, its the cold. But it was freezing this morning. The kid wore a jacket, yes
you heard me, a jacket to school. Now, lets not crack open the champers just yet. It was what she termed a 'jacket'. I would term if a long sleeved handkerchief if there is such a thing as. The one thing I LOVE about this weather is that she has to wear more items of clothing which is always good in my books. There's no such things as too much clothing where she's concerned. I'd have her
wear a full Burqa if she was even slightly interested. Just you know, to make sure she's warm and stuff.

We arrvied home last night and there's a lump in the bed. She muttered something about being freezing cold. She went to sleep whilst we went shopping. I didn't have the energy to wrestle someone for cornflakes so we just headed to Fresh in Smithfield. Its a grand place for a quick shop. There's also less chance of you being killed by those kids on wheels. It took me ages to realise that they had wheels on their feet. I thought I was suffering cold turkey as a result of being away from the PC for more then 30 minutes. They shoot past you, with half your shopping. Its scary. Of course if you leave your foot out and trip them, you're the worst in the world. Only when they collide with the wine shelf.

Mammy2 headed to the gym whilst I tried to work. I say tried to because the kid was all chat once she had crawled from the bedroom avec duvet and hat. School was grand apart from one teacher saying she was an alco. We did a double take. Once we had broken it down, it turns out some teacher said they couldn't be hanging out in the toilets as they might get in trouble. Big difference.
The sister in Holland rang and we caught up on all the news. She has a bit rough as she had celebrated her birthday a day early. Well, I always thought she celebrated it on the 19th. Give me a break! I asked her what date she was planning on celebrating christmas on this year. I heard a welly being thrown from Horst. Lucky her throw is crap, so chances are there's a pissed of Dutch person knocking on her door as I type. Actually, that would mean they were really slow to react. I mean it took them the best part of 24 hours to get to the sister's door. I digress. You get my drift.

The kid wants to put the tree up next week. She's worse then I am. I don't know where she gets it from. She also mentioned her christmas list. I wait the arrival of a manuscript. She threw out the casual art stuff and books, but you know if its left at that she'll have a face longer then a horse on her come christmas morning.

The weather outside is frightful..

Okay, so its not as bad as yesterday. Yesterday, I had to go uptown to get the kids meds and make a phone call. If by any chance you were driving up or down the quays and noticed a 5ft ball of clothes and doc martens stuck to the wind screen of a parked car, that was me. Every time I took
a step , the wind went "Nah, you're not going home today.What rugby watch" * Swirls leaves in front of her face *. I could just about see out from under my hat and everytime I got 2 steps forward, the wind would be blow me 5 steps back. I eventually blew in the apartment and vowed to never leave again.

The kid managed her first week back after suspension fine. Things appeared to have calmed down. She handed up her art assignment a week late. The teacher said it was excellent, but there was a lot of black in it. You know there are people out there who love to live life on the edge. They go bungee jumping, white water rafting, paragliding and what not. This art teacher belongs to that group of people. She's a brave lady, if she followed up with the word EMO i reckon she'd be thrown out of the school. However, she started with a compliment so she knows she kid well enough.
The kid wants to drop honours irish but the teacher won't let her. We have to talk to the school about it. I look forward to that conversation. As always.

We were away in the Saturday night with the inlaws. It was the mother-in-law's 60th birthday today and so the family all sent her away for the weekend and then we joined them on the Saturday night. I have to say I wasn't overly impressed with the hotel. It was 4-star but quite old fashioned. I prefer
modern hotels. Would ya listen to me, as my mother would say, its far from hotels you were reared! But if I was forced to stay in one, I would perfer the modern style then the old style. The mother-in-law enjoyed herself. It wasn't as stressful as I thought, mainly because Mammy2 kept an eye on me. Sometimes her family can be a bit full on. I was always worried about the finances, because we'd budgeted for a certain amount and it was definetly going to be more then that. Coming up to christmas and all that, I wanted to make sure we were okay. Throw in a failed baby attempt this month and I was a tad out of of sorts. Espeically with all the kids around. Put it this way, there's nothing wrong with the in-laws ovaries. One sister has three kids under 6 and the other brother has 2 kids under 8.

Lots of noise. They are quite cute though so I was taking lots of pics. The camera behaved itself. Somewhat. Some of the pictures came out pants. Not sure if the camera was adjusting to the cold or what. After the ruggers and some dinner, I opted for bath and bed. I was tired, grumpy and a bit strung out. The sister in Holland assumed we had forgotten her bday. As if we would. So, I stayed in with the rubber ducks, I was not suited for adult company and then went to bed. There's a lot to be said for 12 hours sleep. Today will be a better day AND its 34 days to christmas!!!

Firefox and early mornings

What an ingodly hour of the morning to be in work. Up at 5 and in here for 5.30 for urgent updates to a website. Who looks at a website at 6 in the morning? Apart from me that is. It was pissing rain and pitch black when I hailed my cab. With a mad man. Who ignores the signs for No Right turn and apparently was so busy chatting, hit ramps at 60 mph. I hit the roof a few times. Lovely man though. Just a bit insane. More illegal maneouvres then I've seen Mammy2 execute of an average evening. But he was so nice about, i let him away. And there wasn't much traffic around at this hour. Who cares about U-Turns? I got here on time with only a few bumps on the head and some song about shaking booties in my brain.

The kid is back in school and its hell apparently. They are all facists, nothing new there. They are all talk about her being the alco of the school. I suspect she may be slightly paranoid but I do feel for her. Its been tough getting her up on Monday and yesterday but she seems to be facing it.
Well, that and she wants to drop out. Oh, and she wants to go to art college. We've been looking at the requirements for Dun Laoghaire, she's NOT going to NCAD, its full of knobs. To quote the great woman herself
Her art project is nearing completion , a week after it was due. See my head where the hair should be? Yip, stressed? Me? No. She had a head to head with the art teacher yesterday. Yesterday, when it got very dark and you could hear the rumbling of thunder and there was a couple of flashes of lightning, that was them 'talking'. I'm not sure how the art teacher fared but the kid was a bit bruised and battered. I am counting the days until she finishes school. So is she I'm sure! Still, in another few weeks she's be on christmas holidays and hopefully, then we will be into the final few months of the madness.

I was at a firefox party last night, don't ask. Yes, it is completly nerdy and yes I did enjoy it. Managed not to win anything though. They gave away loads of merchandise, I am convinced myself and the mate C were the only ones not to win one thing. But I got stickers! There was about 100 or more people there and I got chatting to some woman about accessibility. My new favourite subject. For now. This may change.

We are heading away with the in-laws for the weekend. Fun times ahead. You know those films where you see families gathered together and all hell breaks loose. I fear this may be one of those occasions. I get on well with them and all that, its just the thought of spending a weekend with
them gets me a little ansty. I shall hang in the background, talk to the childers and take pics. Its what I do best :) Although I refrain from baby talk to the kids, perhaps that's why I get on well with them. 5 chimps under the age of 6. And they are all roughly the same height as me. I kid you not.

Its still pissing. I swear I just saw someone canoe past the window. When you consider I work on the 2nd floor, one thinks I should perhaps stop taking those pills. Or start, whichever way you look at it.
Christmas lights are up on Henry Street, they looks fab. I danced when I saw them. Then stopped because tourists started throwing money at me , thinking I was a leprechaun and asking me where my shillelagh was. Rude feckers. Time to load the christmas songs onto the work PC and drive everyone insane with the joy of the festive season. 39 days! Wahooooooooooooo

Training and that Friday feeling

I was in training all day yesterday and will be today. It is interesting, although my attention span is quite short these days, much like myself! Oh , I crack me up. Its webtrends and I get to see what sort of information is gathered about us when we browser the interweb.

The kid had therapy again yesterday, this time without us. She did okay. I was supposed to go grcoery shopping as there was NOTHING to eat in the house but I didn't have the energy. We skipped grocery shopping for dinner out and she was all delighted. She was all questions about this rape in the city which I had told her about. I was warning her because often times when she's out and about , she's very careless about which short cuts she takes and what not. I mean, the woman was assaulted on Parnell Street? She called for help and people passed her by. I don't get that. I would at least try and see what was going on and call for help. I couldn't just walk past. She appears to have listened to what I said. Well whilst I was talking , she was listening. That could be the fact that she had a coke and chips in front of her. We were having sisters night so we stopped off at Spar on the way to buy munchies.

I was filling the basket with food, whilst she was removing most of the choccy stand and putting it in the basket. Then I heard a "Shelly" and lots of winking, nudging and general twitching. I thought she was having some sort of fit. As it turns out there were not 1 but 2 female guards getting coffee. 2. She was trying to get her phone to work to take a picture once we got outside. Through the window. She's a very thoughtful young one. What started out as a looking like a nice shot of 2 lovely female guards turned into a lovely shot of a shoulder and the vegetable stand. It was the thought that counts I suppose.

I've been entertaining notions of learning to drive. I have tried driving on 2 occasions. Once with a tractor. Calm down, stop rubbing thighs, it wasn't the new sexy New Hollands. It was this old thing that looked like it had been driven directly off the pages of Farmers Old Tractor Collectibles. Of course being told where everything was might have helped. I was put into the tractor and that
was it. Luckily there was a large rock in front of me and I glided into that. Not too much damage to the tractor, you know what the old ones are like, but the boulder was a write off. Second time, in a car. I drove into a haystack. Let me just ass I was in a hay field at the time. This wasn't a case of me on the road and crashing into a field. Again, no-one pointed out the obvious parts I'd need to know, you know, general things like BRAKES? And gears and what not. Feckers. Never get a family member try and teach you to drive. So of course now anytime I mention it , there's lots of giggle and general chat about haystacks. Hilarious. So I continue to entertain notions.

This weekend is a big rugby weekend, Leinster play tonight, Mammy2 is heading out there with the sister. Tomorrow we take on South Africa, should be a great match. R tells me she'll be cheering for Ireland, see, she already knows who's going to win.
I've started to get the christmassy feel. I was downloading christmas wallpapers yesterday! And the little cafe I always pass on the way to work, C2K or something its called have their lights up. It looks so cosy. I want to go in and have a coffee every morning. Except then I'd be late for work. And stressed. Well more stressed then usual. Speaking of christmas, I have no idea what to get the kid. We're busy concentrating on her 18th which is 6 months away. This for us will be much bigger then
her 21st. The fact that she made it this far is a testament to her strength. As such, we shall have to do something very special. We are thinking of bring her away somewhere for a long weekend. Some city she hasn't been to. Although it would be exhausting for us, it would be worth it. We have a few months to plan it anyway.

In the meantime, I have already got Mammy2's bday pressie sorted. We're going to Rome for 4 days the week after her birthday. The 2 places she's always wanted to visit, Paris, where we went last year and Rome next year, hopefully. Apparently, I'm the best wife ever. :) She's a tad excited about it , it has to be said.

44 days to christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Therapy and pasta.

Being all things to all people. Its a difficult one. Because lets face it, its not possible. You just cant.
You have to prioritise with people. Anyone who knows me well knows my family come first, second and third. Close friends I consider family. So I guess the fact that the kid is doing much better is a testament to myself and Mammy2's perserverance with her. We are exhausted. But she's doing great! Which is the main thing.

Yesterday's session was heavy going. Straight from a mad day in work, onto a bus into town , then a taxi to Solas and then an hour long chat about feelings and what not. After Monday morning in the school, the long chat I had with the kid on Monday evening and now this, I am all talked out about what happened on that Friday. I'm tired of analsying things to death. I just want us to get on. Therapy is fairly tough going and I wouldn't be a fan. That silence where you know she's waiting for a response from you. The kid chatted loads, about memories she had and stuff about SF*. As C , the counseller put it " So you associate alcoholism with your dad who smelled of wee and drink" We cracked up laughing, but it was an apt description of him. She remembered one scene in particular. Christmas funnily enough, we're all christmas fans!

She was about 3 or 4 and we said she could stay up late as she was all excited about the presents and whatnot. But then she remembers someone falling in the door, she doesn't remember his face at all, just this shadow and he roared at her to go to bed. So I brought her into the room while Mam
I presumed walloped him around the place. Once he had falled into bed, the drunken lout that he was, we came back out and she was allowed sit up and watch the christmas lights. I never thought she'd remember back that far. I'm amazed how any of us still love christmas, with the amount of times SF* ruined it for us. It was down to Mam.

There was lots of chats about family and memories, at one stage I thought C was going to ask me my feelings about SF*. I wasn't going to answer them as I have no feelings. I'd identify more with a stranger on the LUAS then I would with that alcholic leprechaun. I used to hate him, which meant I obviously still cared enough. Now there's nothing. The sooner he pops his clogs and does us all a favour the better. Not that I worry about him getting near us. He wouldn't even recognise us.
But I will protect the kid. He will never get his drunken paws near her. Knowing him, he'd want to pimp her out for the sake of a few pints.

The session was tough as always, we'd talked things through so much, myself and Mammy2 were just flopped in the chairs. Afterwards, we treated the kid to dinner out. She was delighted. We were starving as well, so we headed to Bottacellis for a nice meal and a chat. She was full of the joys of life. She's pretty pissed off with the school though. And this I have to agree with her on. She rang the school to ask if she could get notes and stuff from the classes she was missing and was told that she might not be allowed because she was suspened? What a pile of shite? Like, she's suspended, yes. But she's working away on her studies and now she can't have the notes. Feic sake, I've a good mind to go up to the school and wallop that year head. Only for that wouldn't be setting an example to the kid. On one hand I tell her, violence is not the answer as I pummel someone who's annoying her. Such a role model I am.


*SF = Shitface, 'affectionate' term for the sperm involved in our creation.

47 Days to christmas!

Yes, the countdown has begone. Well, it had already begun, I just chose not to share my madness with you guys. See I'm good like that. Arrived home yesterday to the kid chatting on the computer. Myspace or msn or some other application she uses to talk to numerous people she hardly knows. Apparently, she's a legend because she threw an item of underwear at Jeff something or other. When I gave her the look, she responded with "They were old ones, Shelly" I'm sure Jeff is delighted with an old pair of knickers. I was going to question why we left a fortune in Pennies for underwear that was going to hang off some fellas guitar. Yes, I know I sound far too sensible. That's because I am.

I had a long chat with her about improving her behaviour in school and showing us more respect. She took some of it in, I think. She was funny, the minute I said, we need to talk, she was nervous. I don't know why she assumes that every time we have to talk to her, its going to be bad. Perhaps because any time we have to 'talk' it usually is to be reprimanded. I guess I just needed to stress how serious the suspension was and it was not something that she would be joking about. Ever.

She had pizza as there was 'nothing' to eat in the house. She studied her chemistry and biology and had a rest. I had a meeting to I left her burning, I mean cooking her pizza and told her to get the place in order. As in wash up and sort out the laundry. I arrived home from the meeting and was barrelled to one side as she shot past me to do the washing up. I did some work but was too tired to stay online for long. More nightmares last night, very disconcerting. I checked in on her this morning, the angelic face of her as she lay curled up under the duvet. I looked and then looked again. Sure enough, the guitar was tucked in next to her. I gave her a hug before leaving and asked what was with her sleeping with the guitar. She shrugged and said why not. I suppose its a smaller instrument then say a drum kit. I'd say sleeping with your drum kit would be a bitch.

She left myself and Mammy2 a letter telling us how much she apprecaiated all we have done for her and continue to do and how she's going to do better. Perhaps she has learned from this and perhaps we can all move forward. Right now, I want bed. For about a week. With fluffy pillows, none of that toast marlarky. We have a meeting with the counseller tonight. At this stage, I am sick of talking about how we feel about the whole Friday thing. But I know we're going to be talking about it for a while. The counseller is very good though and the kid gets on with her really well. I have no problem with meeting the counseller its just when she turns on me to answer questions or discuss how I feel, I wouldn't be a fan. Damn counsellers and their caring attitude.

meh.........

We travelled up to the school this morning ready to face whatever was thrown at us and her. She had gone from giddy with excitement yesterday with regards Slayer to head down and a pout on her. Sometimes I don't know what to do with her. She was talking about dropping out, about stress about this and that. I didn't have the energy for her this morning. When do I have the energy for her. She had a good time at the concert, had to be pulled out of the mosh pit a couple of times due to being stamped on and was treated by the paramedics. Before you get alarmed, basically a gig is only a good one if she has to be treated by the paramedics. She claims to have a foot print on her chest where she got stamped on. She says this proudly. I'll never understand teenagers, never.

We arrived in to talk to the principal and the vice. We had to relive the day as they went through their thoughts on it. I thought they were quite fair bacause whilst they know they have to discipline her , they are also concerned about her well being and what not. The school has always been extremely understanding of the kids's situation and so I guess they were just shocked by what she did on the Friday. As were we. They brought her in, went through the same questions and discussions. We now have to ask the kid's counseller to talk to the school and to organise a meeting so that everyone know's what's going on. The kid is suspended for a week. I always think suspension is a bit of an easy punishment? Its like a week off school? She has to work for the week though and not just on Art. In the meantime, when she returns, she's going to have to be on best behaviour. She has to meet up with the school counseller once a week. We are also going to try and organise a meeting with someone from AA as apparently they don't do meetings for teenagers. We will be getting onto that this week.

In the meantime, we're feeling all over the place. She is exhausting. Just when you think you're on top of things and everything is going fine, something happens and we feel like we're back to square one. I see kids walking to school, laughing and joking and I wish so much that she was like that. Then again she was always difficult. I blame the mother ;) Only kidding. In case I get a nice visit from the mother.

The sister was home from Holland, herself and her lovely man. Twas good to see her and catch up, she hadn't been home in 6 months. We booked the kid's flight over there for a week. I think the break will do us all good, provided we've not all killed each other by that time. She's talking about dropping out again. Then she goes on about her art assigment and how she's worried about not getting it up on time because she's suspended. We asked why should she care if she's dropping out. Which is why I think the talk about dropping out is just that. Talk. Thank god. If I do nothing else right with regards her parenting, she is getting her Leaving Cert, if we have to sit in school with her.

That would be a fine sight wouldn't it?!

A nice way to start the week. Meeting with the school and a suspension. I forgot to tell her if I hear one joke about her suspension,she's grounded for life. Sometimes I wonder if she's related to me at all. Myself and my sister at school barely said 2 words to any other student , let alone give hassle to our year head. Instead, she's in , wearing the tie everywhich way but the way she's supposed to, nail varnish and an attitude. Such a rebel. Or so she thinks.

Lets do an insemination, lets make a baaaaaaaaaaaby.

If you're a fan of the L word and have see the extras on the dvd, the title of this would have made sense. Sometimes I feel like that. Its like lets make a baaaaaaby, Mammy2. Of course when I say that, she usually throws a pillow at me. So the first attempt in a long time. I could just picture things inside. The ovaries, reformed characters that they are. Wandering around the fallopions, praying, adjusting their habits and listening to Enigma and chanting. Suddenly the alarm bells sounds. Word from the rest of the body is there's something afoot. Its not the second Tuesday of the month and yet they are sensing something is going down. So to speak. More checks.

They sense a hint of testerone. They send someone up to the eyes to check. Direct phone call back down. One yoghurt pot sighted. Not Petiti Filou though, so could be a false alarm. Hold it, there's a syringe. Either they fancy a challenge whilst eating or we're under attack people. Repeat, under attack. Incoming sperm. Assume emgency positions. One ovary starts applying lip gloss and adjusts her tights. The rest start praying. In latin. Half way through the first Rosary, they can hear someone speaking french through the large wooden door. Lip Gloss ovary throws open the door to greet Pepe Le Sperm, complete with slicked back tail and a bunch of flowers. Je T'aime he mutters. Lip Gloss Ovary swoons whilst the others bless themselves.

Okay, I need to get out more. We wait and see if they are at all intererested in partaking in the swimmers. Our man said he did his fertility dance. We didn't ask for details. He also showed us his tea towel. This is not a euphism for anything ye dirtee feckers. Of course the kid was muttering something about being traumatised for ever and ever as a result of us having an attempt. I muttered something back about us being tramatised as parents to a teenager. She had a good halloween and seems to be suitably contrite about the whole Friday incident.

Needless to say, none of us are looking forward to Monday morning and facing the school with her in tow. She spent most of yesterday in bed, obviously having been up all hours the night previously celebrating Halloween.

Work has been between 2 extremes, yesterday, nada. Our connection to the servers was down so fan fic beckoned. Not that I needed any assistence in that area. Today, I barely had my jacket off and there were servers to be configured and new connections to be set up. Things have calmed down for the moment whilst I wait for someone to sign off on the work I've done so far. There's a firefox launch party coming up and I think myself and the best mate C managed to wangle an invite to it. Don't ask how. I'd say it will be the biggest collection of nerds, in a while. So far, I have made out one other girl's name. I don't mind as long as I get a t-shirt or something. Its a party to launch version 2.0 of the browser . Yes, I assume you have fallen asleep and probably don't give a damn about firefox. But I like it.

Got a letter and not one but 2 postcards from R in South africa. She sends me a postcard of Peig Sayers from Africa? Mad lady, she's on a road trip at the moment. I've been looking up the places she's been and South Africa is a really beautiful country. She was driving through the wine region a few days ago, Stellenbosch and Franschook and all the rest. She sounds like she's enjoying herself. She hasn't killed her travelling companion. Yet. Another week and a half to go. Its still possible.

I am still halfway through writing a letter to her. My handwriting is so bad and it takes AGES for me to write anything. But I like the idea of writing an actual letter. So old fashioned I am.

Ovaries and Ouzo

There are times when I feel that being guardian to a teenager is too much. One of these times was Friday and Friday afternoon. The kid didn't show her face until Friday night. There were numerous txt messages back and forth, us telling her to come home, her replying that she wouldn't until she got her head together. I think Friday added 10 years to my life. Mine and Mammy2's. Saturday morning came around and there was a chat about things. As in, what the hell was she thinking. Stealing from us, bringing alcohol into school, drinking in school, running from school. The list went on. Apparently, she said she wasn't trying to get out the window , she was trying to open it for some 'air'. Perhaps because she needed to sober up. Mammy2 was fuming as was I. There was a long chat. She's agreed to see her counseller as soon as possible. She also reckons she might have an alcohol problem. We have to look into AA for teenagers.

Its a start I suppose.

Drinking shots at 8 in the morning is not a natural occurance. Unless you're some sort of rock star who's just finished trashing their hotel room. I asked her how many she had, she said 3 or 4. When asked how she was caught, she said she was in the toilets pouring herself a shot when a teacher came in. I'm pretty sure the expressions on both Mammy2's face and my own were identical. Pouring a shot for herself of a school morning in school.

Her solution to the problem and how she thought she could get away with a punishment was to suggest moving out. Getting a job and cheap flat. This was obviously going to solve all our issues. Where do they get these ideas from? Perhaps she thought we were in Dawson's Creek or something. She spent most of the summer looking for work and couldn't find anything. Now in the space of a week, she was going to get a job and a flat?

Obviously since Saturday her ideas on this have changed slightly. She's now resigned herself to the fact that she won't be getting cheap accommodation or a job and has accepted whatever punishment we decide to give her. In the meantime, we have to face the school next Monday. She has to apologise to the principal and apologise to any other teacher she had a run-in with. Fun times ahead.

There really should be a handbook. Seriously, we can't be the first parents to go through this and we certainly won't be the last. Poor parents, I don't think myself or my sister ever put our mother through this trauma. Or maybe we did and we are chosing to block it out. :) Speaking of being a parent, we are having an attempt this month. Paddy Power is offering ridiculous odds on it , they must have seen the holiday snaps of the Ovaries in the Maldives and decided to make a quick buck. We haven't had an attempt in a while and so we're going to try this month. You'd think with the kid, we'd be put off pro-creating for life but no. We're suckers for punishment. Lets aim for twins, twice the fun and headaches.

Where do you do from here?

Okay, so I was bit previous in my last post. The bit about her settling down in school and what not?
Obviously bshit. About an hour ago I got a phone from the principal. Asking me to come down to the school as soon as possible as there was a serious incident involving the kid. I immediately panicked and said I would try and get down there. He also said she was ready to bolt so if we could get there quickly. The incident involved alcohol. I rang Mammy2 who was up and on the road in less then 10 minutes. She rang me to say that there was no point in coming all the way over to my work place and then back. She said she'd deal with it. About 30 mins later I am in a meeting and the school rang again. The kid had bolted. She'd gotten out a window whilst the principal was gone out of the room for 5 minutes. What do you say in response to that.

He said she had taken alcohol and appeared very agitated and that he was concerned for her mental
health. I thanked him for his concern and told him we would be in touch as soon as we located her.
I have a feeling she's off with the 2 mates at the mo , waiting until she sobers up before she comes home. Mammy2 arrived at the school as the principal finished talking to me. He chatted with her and was concerned about the kid. He showed Mammy2 the bottle of alcohol the kid had taken from home. She also brought in shot glasses?! Like , was she thinking of setting up a bar in the place?

The alcohol was a bottle of Ouzo, a present from a mate years ago. We never drink the stuff and left it on one of the top presses. Needless to say we are furious. I'm not so much concerned about her, because I know she's off hanging with mates at the mo, thinking how to broach this with us. The cheeky fecker also told the principal she had a doctor's appointment this morning. She was supposed to be on a half day because there was some walk that she didn't want to go on or
something. She must be forging notes left, right and center. She's in for a surrprise when she gets home. Mammy2 has sent her a txt telling her to get herself home. I await her story with baited breath.

Adoption is looking like a really good option right now. I wonder do eBay have a policy about not selling teenagers?

Cruella De Ville

I am so angry right now I'm probably not going to make much sense. Actually that would have been yesterday when Mammy2 told me. We live in a rented apartment and have done so for the last 3 years. We recently renewed our lease for another year. Every 6 months, the estate agent sends around an agent to check that the place is in order and we haven't broken windows and what not.
For the last 3 years, this lady has been a lovely woman, the woman who originally showed us the place and is aware of our situation. She has always commented on how well we keep the place and how the landlady will miss us if we ever decided to move out. She has also pointed out that when we do move, that the kids room will need a lot of work. Something we were aware of and had said we would take care of it. This lady has since left the estate agents and in her place is Cruella De Ville.
Its the only apt description I can think of. She arrived into the apartment yesterday morning and was a bitch from the start to the finish.Mammy2 is off sick so she was there when she arrived in. She was aghast at the kids room. Do people not do handovers? Like surely she would have been informed of the different tenants. She said there was no way we were going to get our deposit back with the state of the room. Mammy2 explained that this is something we are aware of and the room will be completly redone when we move out. She was still not impressed and said that we would have to pay an extra 200 euros onto the deposit we originally paid because it wouldn't cover it. Blah, blah, etc. She asked how much we were paying.

She couldn't believe it and told Mammy2 that 'we can be guaranteed that it won't be staying at that' when the lease is up for renewal. Mammy2 handed her over the lease we had already signed. I would have hit her in face with it. Basically the rent stays the same for this year. But I just know she's going to try and get the landlady put the rent way up. If the landlady hasn't asked for an increase, surely that's her issue and not Cruella's? I am so incensed I will be writing a letter to the estate agents. If our landlady values us as tenants, she can get some other person to check the place, bcause I'd run across that woman sooner then have her peer under the beds.

Wagon.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I hate this shit. You pay rent, you take care of a place and never once in the last 3 years have we had to contact the landlady and now suddenly the rent should go up? Because Cruella wants a new Dalamation jacket? She can feck right off. The apartment has been home for the kid since she moved to Dublin and we were hoping to stay another 2 years at least , to give us enough time to get a deposit together. Now I don't know whether we'll be able to stay on next year.

In other news, the kid did really well in her maths exam. Or she thinks. We had a good chat with C, the counseller. The kid is so different with her nowadays, she chats more, jokes more compared to when we first brought her in. Head down, not a word out of her. The counseller has a lovely habit of trying to get us to talk too. Mammy2 has no issues with it but I'm not a fan of this therapy malarky so I don't play along. I did discuss what I was comfortable and that was about it. I hate when
the counseller talks and then there's silence and you just know she's looking at you , waiting for a comment. For example, she brought up the whole area of the kid being sexually active and both myself and the kid sunk further into the chair whilst Mammy2 looked on bemused. The session went well though and she's going to continue seeing the kid and said that perhaps we should all meet more often. If she's thinking of family therapy she can think again!

Afterwards, Mammy2 had a meeting to go to and so I suggested to the kid we go get some food and head to the cinema. She was chuffed. But she had to change before we headed. I didn't see anything wrong with what she was wearing, in fact I was delighted to see a trousers and some skin coverd. Of course, that changed. Gone was the trousers and nice top, in place was the corset, the skirt , the knee length boots and the ripped tights. Walking up town of a Thursday night was fun with her by my side. I was in full protective mode. If we are walking up town, walk on the outside. If we are passing a group of lads, circle her until she gets dizzy. When she's going to toilet, follow 2 steps behind. Just the usual protective parental role.

She was all chat about school and one of her mates, who is having an on-off-on again relationship with her boyf, who's a bit of a scumbag. She seems to have settled more into school thank god. Also, she seems to have made other friends after the great fall out of last year. Apparently her mate is being stalked by a psychotic first year who's cross-eyed. She did an imitation of the girl and I had to re-primand her. I told her she can't be giving out about bullying in the school if she goes around taking the piss out of this first year. She didn't see the relation at all. She said she didn't do it to her face. Which obviously was much better. I told her not to take the piss, she looked suitably contrite. I don't think she would be a bully , but you never can tell. I'll have a chat with her again about it over the weekend.

No plans for the weekend but I have a load of work to do. I was supposed to do it last night but I decided to be spontaneous and bring the kid out. Apparently she was amazed. I don't do spontaneous at all. Most people will tell you this. I need a plan, I need structure. But it worked out well, mainly because I gave myself an hour either way :)

Its Friday, its dark and wet and rainy but its Friday! And a Bank holiday which means 3 days off work. Wahay!

Thursdays, maths tests and therapy.

Yesterday was a miserable day, weather wise. I didn't mind the weather too much. I was nursing a hangover from hell. I really am getting too old for this going out on a school night. I wouldn't mind only it wasn't even a late one? Myself and Mammy2 just had a few drinks in the local. The mate J joined us and we solved all the worlds problems over a few pints. Yes, that sort of night. The kid was in grand form, I checked her maths when we got home and she is really getting the hang of it. Holidays start tomorrow, she's all excited. In the meantime, she has her maths exam today. Fingers crossed she does okay with it, she's worked so hard on it, I hope she doesn't panic. The art assignment is still at the start, she's working on it in parts. I reckon she'll wait until the day before its due and the panic.

She is also in 2 minds about going over to Holland now. Because we have decided that we can't trust her and the boyf to go, she'd have to go by herself. She was very indignant. "I don't understand why I can't go with my friend" I noticed she dropped the boy part of it, probably thinking we'd go Ah sure, they're just friends, let them go over there. She's having a think about it, but we're hoping she'd go even for a couple of days.

We are meeting with her counseller tonight. We organised it last month when the stress levels were quite high. Her illnesses and whatnot.

I guess we are hoping she might be able to let us know what's going on with the kid. Or perhaps give us some indication. Because at this rate by the time the Leaving Cert is finished, we'll be rocking back and forth in an armchair talking about differeciation and Yeats. Yesterday evening was so dark and dismal, I had a meeting to discuss the re-design of the angrypotato website. The designs look fab! Lots of work involved though, but I'm really liking the new look. I hope the people who post on it like, you know how some people don't adjust too well to change.

Home to the couch and Mammy2. We watched The Devil Wears Prada. Tis an alright film. I can't get into my head how anyone can be that ambitious and ruthless? Can one be ambitious and not ruthless though is another question. My motto is work to live not the other way around. I see people in here who are real go-getters who will put in all hours and I just don't see the point. Life is too short! I'm happy enough with my job, I have no plans for management. Can you see me as a manager? The fun times. There'd be no work done, productivity would go down but everyone would enjoy themselves!

Its nearly the weekend and its a bank holiday one, which is fab! Three whole days and nothing planned. Well, except we have to go visit Mam's grave. We were supposed to go down for her birthday which was in September, I know. I've been bad. I just haven't felt up to facing it. So hopefully on Sunday we'll head down and put some nice flowers there. The sister is home next weekend, can't wait to see her. We haven't seen her since we were over there in July. She claims she's really looking forward to seeing us. Read between the lines. Its been ages since she had a Guinness. I know her ;)

School and facism

Not really, but it feels like it. After an exceptionally long and tiring day at work, you just want to come home and flop on the couch. Not talk tactics with a teenager. She casually mentioned last week about having received lines because she was late for school. No mention since. Until last night when she mentioned she needed us to write her a note else she was going to get detention. I stopped peeling the potatoes and asked her what was detention about.

"Oh because I got lines last week and I won't be doing them"
"Why won't you be doing them?"
"Because its soooo stupid and I shouldn't have to do them. Its repressing my rights etc"
"Your rights? They gave you lines, you have to do them or you'll get detention"
"I'm not doing them. You can just write me a note saying I'm not doing them because its
a stupid punishment or something"
"I'm not writing a note"
"I'm not writing those lines so you can just forget it"
This went back and forth for a while, whilst Mammy2 disappeared behind the book she was reading. Eventually I decided to threaten. She had a concert coming up and she wanted to hang at the weekend.
"That's it, I'm having a senance and telling Mam on you" I was at this stage of course petrefied of her and her seance. I could smell victory so I stood my ground. The fact that I had a knife made me somewhat more confident. She threw in her therapist.
"I'll get C to go to the school and she'll tell them and tell you..." A raised eyebrow was my response. After what felt like Round 5 , she backed down.

Or rather we compromised.

She said she'd do the lines 5 times but that was it. We'll see how she gets on today. I told her I don't want a phone call from the school. She rolled her eyes and muttered something facism.

Once the storm had cleared, Mammy2 legged it to the gym. I guess she was trying to appear supportive by hiding in the armchair. The kid started work on her maths. She appears to be understanding it. I was supposed to be working but was too wrecked. I opened up the code and sat starring at it for a while. I played around online and then got tired and went to bed at 10.

Tonight is, yip, you've guessed it Maths. Although seeing as I sat gazing at the screen yesterday, it will be some work as well. I have a website I have to develop. I have the screenshots and all, I've just been putting it off. Because it involves CSS and this is headache inducing. The kid mentioned she was thinking of going over to the sister in Holland after the christmas for a few days. I had to hold Mammy2 back from booking a one way ticket. Don't get me wrong, we love her to bits, but the thought of a few days without her around, whilst safe in the knowledge she's happy and enjoying herself, would be so good right now.

Mother is God in the Eyes of a Child

Yes, its a quotation, I am quite taken with it at the moment, I'm sure this will wear off. We watched Silent Hill last night, the kid has been waxing lyrical and sounding like a broken record when it comes to this film. We just HAVE to watch it, its soooooo sacry. And so on and so forth. Of course the major factor being that she had seen it before me and as such could jump in at different parts with "Oh, this bit is......" she'd slowly come to a halt when I glared at her. I prefer watching films she hasn't seen before. But it was a decent film and that quote was used. The film itself wasn't scary, more gory which I never really like. I prefer an intelligent film with jumpy bits then lots of blood. However it did have Radha Mitchell and a cute female cop so this kept me entertained. The weekend was madness and moments of quietness. I was feeling out of sorts on Friday, story of my life lately. I reckon there's a dose of it going around. SAD stuff and all that. I know what the problem is though and I am sorting it out in my head. I don't do well with having to think about things and complicated stuff. I'm a simple girl at heart see. There's a country song in there just begging to be written. I may have to write it down ;)

But I'm getting there, lots of giving out about myself and berating myself and I'm pretty sure everyone will be happy then. Hold on, just need to put that harp away.

Friday evening, the kid was in foul form. We finally got it out of her, the kids were picking on her again. I've said it before and I will say it again, teenage girls are the devil incarnate. Seriously. They have no idea , or maybe they do, how much control they have over someone? Or how upset they can make them. Thankfully, the kid's school has a lot of teachers who are more concerned about
the pupil's wellbeing then their grades. One teacher took her aside and made her tea and listened to her. Its times like this I want to just say, feck school, feck those bitches, forgot about school. But we have to work at it and get her through it. I can only hope mentally she's strong enough for it. She's been through so much that sometimes its the little things that might push her. She has us for hugs and tea in that order. In a castrophic situation look for me next to the kettle. Tea?

Saturday morning she was in grand form, she worked on her essay with Mammy2 whilst I went mad cleaning the place. It happens most Saturdays. Sometimes even when cleaning isn't even necessary :) We met up with some of the sister K's mates who were over from Holland for the weekend. They are mad people, they spent most of the weekend in the pub. I stayed for a few drinks to be sociable and managed to escape for home around 6ish. They stayed out until 4. Animals! Or just young people, who knows.

Differenciation, we have nearly mastered. Yesteday Rule 1 and Rule 2 came under attack and she's getting a grasp of it. Thank god, I thought the book was going to be flung to the far corners of the earth with some of the frowns and glares that were coming my way. Questions like but why do we need to know this? Try and think of a real world example whereby we use that lovely forumala dx/dy= insert huge equation here. If you can think of one, send it me. It will save at least 15 minutes of the following:

"Em, well, you see, you just have to know this stuff"
"But whhhhhhhhy?"
"Cause you do, its important"
"This equation is important? " * slight tone of disbelief * "For what exactly"
"Well, stuff.."
"Like?" * raised eyebrow *. I was cornered, nothing between me and the bookcase.
"Tea?" Usually throws her off kilter for about , oh 2 minutes. It buys me a lifeline.

She's on holidays this Friday for a week and a half. I think they spend more time off school then they do on. She's got another art project due. Cue apocalytpic music. Art. The only subject that strikes
the fear of god into us. That and Mammy2 using the phrase "I know where I'm going". She's notorious for 'thinking' she knows where she's going. Famous for throwing the map out the window and relying on her gut feeling. Chances are it was indigestion that got us to Kilkenny from Dublin via Wexford.

Cry me a river

I believe there are 2 types of people in the world - the type of person who decides that if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And the type of person who moans about EVERYTHING. This person has decided that if life give you lemons, you suck on them and make everyone elses life a misery.
I have never had any time for the later type of person, but in the last couple of years more so.
Life is really too short for moaning about everything and not trying to change what's causing you to be a miserable shit.

Par example, 2 really good mates from college. One of them was the former, one the later. Guess which on I keep in touch with ;) I cannot get into the mind of someone who continues to give out about stuff and yet does nothing to change it. NOTHING. The moaner is still in his job, gives out about it yet works overtime. Is miserable yet has done nothing about it. He stays in his job when he knows its making him unhappy and he could be elsewhere. Compare this to D, or Saint D as we like to call him. The man is perfect. I have never met someone more reliable in my life then this guy. In the last few years, he's had his fair share of lemons, a bit of an understatement, and right now is in a situation that's difficult for him. How many times has he complained? In the last few years? None. Once under duress and after been given 23432 pints. He apologied for it afterwards.


I know problems are relative and all that, but sometimes you want to shake people. I think I mentioned before about going to see a play called the Exonorated. It was on as part of the Theatre Festival. It's more of a theatrical production then a play, my actress type friend pointed out. Well, one of the parts in this production was played by the woman herself, Sunni Jacobs. She spent 17 years on death row before she was exonorated. Her husband was executed. It was a famous execution because the chair failed. 3 times. I can't even being to comprehend the pain and suffering this woman went through as a result of all that. Yet she is all about forgiveness and being grateful for a chance to live her life outside of prison. To get to know her children who grew up without her. She's a very bubbly person. And an amazing lady. I was priveleged to see her play herself.

I shall stop ranting now.

The kid, ah, fun times. Phone call from the school this morning. No surprises there, I think if they didn't ring, I'd have to ring them and ask what was wrong. She's 'sick'. Sore throat, which wouldn't have anything to do with a rock concert last night and feeling ill. Nothing to do with going to bed at 1. I'm all for if a kid is sick, they should be at home in bed. In this case our kid should be studied by sciencetists because I am pretty sure no-one has ever suffered as much with illnesses as she has.
We had the place to ourselves last night whilst she was gone, it was great. Granted I spent it online playing, but still it was nice. Not to have to constant asking for tea. I await another phone call. I told her to wait for a few hours and see how she feels. Thing is, I can't get her home? She's going to have to stay even if she is sick. Which I sincerely doubt.

* Headache begins *

PT Meetings and Promiscuousity

The english language, its a funny thing really isn't it. The kid had a great day in school on Friday. English class resulted in the following conversation. They are studying some book about a car salesman who has an affair. The word promiscuous comes up. The teacher writes it on the board and asks everyone if they know what it means. The kid pipes up with "Its someone who has sex with lots of different people without caring or summat" Cue shocked expressions from some of the girls:
"Ya what? We thought it was mysterious like, cause of the Nelly Furtardo song, Promiscuous like" The teacher managed to supress her laughter. As did the Kid.

Herself and her man were together a month on Friday. He bought her flowers. Cute. I think I'll give him longer then christmas. Mammy2 is giving him until Halloween. Which is a tad harsh I think. Tonight they head to Lacuna Coil, she's all excited about it. She seems to have calmed down a lot since coming home sick last week. The PT meeting went well. Mostly the same from all the teachers. Good student, just misses a lot of days. The art teacher seems to think she's eccentric but because she's so good, lets her away with a lot more then the other students. She's worried though that she won't get the A in her final exam. Apparently only 3% of the students all over Ireland get the A and its a hard grade to achieve. She's happy enough with her art, just the length of time it takes her to draw. Because she's a perfectionist, she spends ages on one part and this will work against her in
an exam with a time limit. Fun times ahead trying to get her to rush her life drawings. Cue lots of pencil throwing and tantrums. She is 17 after all.

Her french teacher is a lovely lady, she had the kid for English last year and still appears to have an interest in how she's doing on general. She was all chat about what does the kid want to do after school, what her plans are etc. We did manage to get her to talk a bit about french. When we could get a word in edgeways.

We skipped the PE teacher, I doubt she even knows what the kid looks like. Whilst sitting waiting for another parent to finish talking to the biology teacher, myself and Mammy2 were amazed at the fact that not once but twice the mother's phone rang and she answered it? To discuss what time the hairdresser was calling around at to put hair extensions in for her daughter. Firstly, switch your bloody phone off? This teacher is taking the time to talk to you about your daughter's eduction and you are on the phone talking hair styles? Another parent had her daughter with her? Whilst talking to the teacher? Its called Parent-Teacher meeting? Not Parent-Teacher-Daughter meeting.

It was exhausting though. Talking to each of the teachers. Most of them commented on how she was sick quite a bit. By the end of it, we were feeling positive. If we could just get her to attend school more. When we got home, we had a chat with her. Mammy2 headed to the gym and I helped her with her maths. Although she was in a a bit of a mood. When she gets like this, its best to leave her to it. Of course, when you don't react, she pushes buttons and can come out with very hurtful things. Eventually she gave up on it and worked on the maths with me. Differeciation. First principles. I love maths. She's starting to like it a bit more. When she has the patience to sit down and work through it. She got most of her work done over the weekend. She has an english essay due for Thursday and was working on the plan last night. She has an irish test tomorrow which she's confident enough about. Perhaps this week might be a full week. Who knows!

Teenagers and parenting - where do you go..

As I type this, the kid is in the room 'asleep' . She was collected from school by Mammy2 because she fainted. Its the 5th time in as many weeks that she's had to be collected from school suffering from some sort of ailment. When she came into the living room, I asked her what the problem was. She ahd a migraine and a pain in her back for the last god knows how long and don't get her started
on her heart palpitations. She went into bed. We honestly don't know what to do. Technically once she's sick , she has to be sent home as the school won't take responsibility for her. They also won't allow her leave without a guardian. From the look of her when she came in she's fine. Mammy2 checked the timetable and sure enough, her next class would have been chemistry. I don't know what to do with her. We have tried everything. We have the parent teacher meeting tonight, I look forward to it. I think we're going to have to arrange a meeting with her counseller and maybe see what's going on because we're noly one month into the school year and this can't go on.

Never mind her health, both myself and Mammy2 will have an ulcer.

Funny how the ill health never rears its head when she's hanging with her mates or when she's clothes shopping. We spent 2 hours and a fair bit of money on Saturday as it was her shopping trip. Every few months, we go shopping and she gets to pick out some clothes and what not. Its such fun. For her. I am the one carrying the bags and parting with the cash. She did but a jumper though. With a polo neck. I asked her if she was going to cut the neck off it. She gave me her look:

"Shelly, its a polo neck, what would be the point in cutting the neck off it?" She did have a valid point. But I have seen t-shirts go under for less. Hence I had to check. Another pair of F-ME boots. They were the exact same as her previous ones. But these ones were STRONGER and better and other such like words to appease a parent who has to part with money for these things. It was her pocket money and she owes us for the rest of the month. Funny how she has trouble with maths, but when it comes to us owing her money, she's well on it.

Conversations at a Changing room Part 3:
"I love this top, can I get it?"
"Well, you only have 20 euros left and its 20 euros"
Silence.
"Yeah but, here, give me that top that I bought in No-Name"
Hand appears around the curtain.
"Em, how about no?"
"WHAT? Why, stop being silly and give me the top"
Hand waits.
"I'm not letting you try on some item of clothing you bought in another shop in here
so you can shag off "
"But Shelly"
"Do you want that top?"
"Yes but"
"Who do you think is paying for it?"
Silence.
"Grand, glad we got that sorted."

Cue more hugs and me being the best mammy ever. I savour these moments, they usually last about, oh 10 minutes. Once shopping was over, we went for food. She's quite funny when it comes to food.
"I'm trying to cut down on my intake of junk food" she states, whilst sipping her pint of coke and throwing ketchup on her chips and sausages.
"And my choesterol as well, how do you keep that low" emptying the salt cellar onto her chips.
"Oh I don't know", I threw out" Cutting down on your salt intake"
She laughed. Went back to talking about eating healthy and maybe joining a gym. She barely has time to finish her school work, I do not know where she's going to work a gym into this. Sometimes I think she has the funniest ideas in her head.

Washing up with her after the Sunday dinner, she asked me about where one could get a cheap apartment. I said there was no such thing. She was looking into it for her and L, the new man. Bear in mind, she's been seeing this guy for a month. Granted they were friends for over a year. But still. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and explained that she'd have to finish school and all that before she could even think about moving out. Teenagers....