Christmas

26 days to go and I am so excited. Tomorrow we are allowed decorate the office. I have designated it Decorate your office Friday. I think everyone should follow suit. Its really starting to feel christmassy with the lights being switched on everywhere. I shall take lots of pics and show them off up here. Hopefully the camera behaves itself a bit better then last year. The kid rang this morning to tell us to leave money out for her so she can get her madness and pregger pills tomorrow. I look forward to when she starts getting her own money. Although that said, since she moved out we have saved a lot. She was asking about the tree. Apparently, we have to let her know when we are doing it so she can come home and do it with us. Family tradition she claims. Tradition that has obviously just been invented because I don't remember it. Although I do remember saying the same to Mam when I would be at college so perhaps she's right. I told her the tree was going up on Saturday. She proceeded to wail about she won't be around and why can't we wait until she's available. I ask her when she's available, she said maybe next Saturday but she wasn't sure. I can't wait so I told her the tree was going up regardless. She gave out and ranted but
eventually I got her off the phone. Less then 5 minutes later I get the following text from her:

"I can come in on saturday for the tree, so u f**** wait for meee!"

Lovely turn of phrase eh. No rearing on that child, I blame the parents! We were out last night with Mammy2's parents. Lovely meal in Chatham Brassarie, which they paid for. We take it in turns to buy dinner so this time it was there turn. I got to hear all the stories of Paris and I talked football with the dad, even though I don't follow soccer. We moved onto films, after a discussion between all of us for heated over politics would you believe. Mammy2's mammy feels sorry for Mary Harney. Movies are a much safer topic as well as family politics. There appears to be a stand off about one of the kids birthdays and so far we don't know what's going on. So as far as we know, there's no party and we are free that weekend. Well, not really as I have drinks with 2 of my old college mates on the Friday and the Sunday is the mod meet and christmas drinkies. Everyone is actually able to attend. Its madness, I just need to give the designer a shout now and see if she can swing by afterwards.

Have I mentioned I love christmas? I am so excited about it. I think there are a few carol services I want to go to in the National Concert Hall. And this is on http://www.dublindocklands.ie/index.jsp?pID=94&nID=105&aID=541. 12 days of christmas in the Docklands, its impossible to describe to check it out. Its fab, myself and Mammy2 have gone the last few years and I loved it, surprisingly enough :) Tonight Mammy2 has also given me permission to get some new tinsel, we're splashing out as she finally got paid. A month and a half on one wage was a tad difficult. Now we can do the christmas shopping and also give some money to charity. I always remember how chuffed Mam used to be when we got a christmas box from a charity. We never found out who put our name forward but Mam was always chuffed when she got it. We could over indulge on christmas day then on marrowfat peas and whatever else was thrown.

Wise words from the kid

Have you ever worken up on one of those mornings, where itz a bit earlier then usual, and there's a strangely beautiful air about, where you can feel the real essence of life and something about the way the light creeps into the room softly, the way the air smells so new, the way that each and every noise could remind you of any nice memory, and somehow you thank whatever power you hold faith in, or whatever ideal is in your heart you are alive? It seems to be that kind of morning.

A txt message from the kid this morning. I'm glad to see Bebo hasn't killed her use of the english languge completly.
I was tempted to txt her back and asking her what she was smoking but I thought she might not appreciate it. I mean
what else am I supposed to say to that? I guess at least her txts are a tad more uplifting then 'I hate my life' and 'I hate school' and 'they are opressing me'. Its good to see she's being positive. Even if she does sound like a spirtual guide. Granted the weather is lovely and mild and has that just about to snow at any stage feeling about it so perhaps that's what she's referring to. Caught up with Mammy2 last nigh and had lots of qt, what with it being a mad weekend. We sampled the delights of Little Italy for some food and wine. Mammy2 had lots of stories about her work place, sometimes I don't get how she doesn't go mad with it. Laying out galleries for this and that. For example I emailed her to ask how the interesting galleries were going and she replied:

I'm currently working on the Sandyford Opel Dealership Carnival Launch of their 2008 Range.

You couldn't make this shit up.

The next few evenings are a tad mental so I am taking it easy tonight and going training. I think the mate J is going
so I won't have the trauma of being partnered with the instructor. Thank god, my body is still not over the regieme he
put us through on Saturday. Tomorrow we are having dinner with Mammy2's parents, where I'll catch up on all the
news about Paris. Thursday night, an old school mate is cooking dinner for us in her new place. Friday night, the opening of Pantibar, a new gay bar. Trying to organise a website meet as well, which is proving taxing lets just put it that way. Its always the same around this time of the year, everyone has something on. On Saturday night, we have dinner plans with the mates A and S. Instead of giving pressies or anything like that, we go out for dinner around christmas time and catch up on what's been going on. Then the christmas parties begin. Working for a team within a department within a corporation means 4-5 parties. Thankfully, we're not expected to attend all of them.

One of my lasting memories of last year's xmas party was a hopeless Santa doing karoke and making lewd postures towards one of his elves. Everyone was hammered, having partaken of shots early in the night and most of the team weren't at it. It was horrible. I won't be going to one of those again in a hurry.

Weekend fun and family bonding

The sister K was home from Holland for the weekend so there was lots of family bonding and quality time. I had a half day on the Friday and met her in town. Poor thing was in a bad way as it had been the boyf's 30th the night before and so a few beverages were had. I was in great form, it was Friday and I finished on a half day. There were lots of plans for the weekend which was going to involve going to visit the Dracula musem in Clontraf, the sister has a fascination with all things vampireish. You'd think I'd notice this from her dvd collection of Buffy and Angel and her book collection featuring such titles as Interview with a Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, Oh what big Fangs you have etc. Okay I may have made the last one up :) She was pretty wrecked so we took it easy on Friday night. When I say we took it easy, I mean she went to bed and myself and Mammy2 watched the rugby. I was in 2 minds about going training but I went on the Sat morning. Seeing as the weekend was going to be a mad one, I decided it was best to get some excercise in. For my sins, I was partnerless. That's when the fun began The instructor partnered me. Whatever about pushing yourself with you are with a classmate, its hard not to push yourself when you've got mr black belt god knows how many times shouting at you. It was a great workout, but I was sure I was about
to die when I got home. The sister had a good laugh at me, she was up and ready to go shopping. I had no feeling in my legs or arms but I was ready and willing.

We had booked a family dinner for that night and then it was onto Panti's show, we even managed to persuade the kid and her man to join us. She was a bit wary at first as she said he might feel out of place. I explained that he was very welcome and that we wouldn't embaress her. When you consider we were paying for dinner and the tickets, I didn't think it was too much of a stretch. The mates J and S came along, they are close friends and so we consider them family. Or to use the american phrase I hate so much, framily. Yuck. The brother was in fine form, entertaining the girls with his baby saving story. Actually he didn't entertain them, we had to tell the story and then he told them about it. I reckon he'd be more chuffed if he caught a burgalar or something. I think saving a baby's life is pretty
impressive, thanks for his first aid skills.

Yesterday, more shopping and a visit to Chapters the new store on Parnell Street. I hadn't been and I have to say its impressive. The sister wanted to pick up a copy of The Year of Magical thinking by Joan Didion which I had been raving about since reading it. I wanted to talk about it with someone and as poor Mammy2 is still working her way through a book she has to review, I managed to persuade the sister to get it and read it. Not that she needed much persuasion, she's a big reader. Herself and Mammy2 are always chattering away about this book and that. The new store is very impressive though I have to say. I shall be making a return visit once I get through the current book, The Observations by Jane Harris. The main character Bessy is very funny.

Town was so busy yesterday and we managed to catch some of the procession for the switching on of the lights on O'Connell Street. It was very cool, lots of costumes and drums etc. Its offically christmas :) I must pop some christmas songs onto Squirt so I can listen to them on the way to work. Christmas lights means christmas pictures have to be taken so I think when myself and Mammy2 go shopping we are going to take some nice shots. The lights are so lovely. Operation No-Flow, sorry Freeflow started this morning. A female guard on every corner, it must be christmas. They are so tiny though, seriously some of them are not much bigger then the bollards they are standing next to.

I went for the eye tests last week and I have very healthy eyes apparently. Nothing wrong with them at all, so its to the doctor next I guess. Its nothing major, just stupid things like dizzy spells and having to think before I walk up or down stairs. It feels like a brain jump or something, its hard to explain. Its like my foot doesn't know it has to go forward, so I have to pause and then tell it to do that. It only seems to involves stairs from what I can tell. Perhaps its old age :)

Alone time

I was both looking forward to and dreading this weekend and the Thursday before. Mammy2 was heading off to Paris with her Mam and sisters for a birthday present to her Mam and I was to be home alone for the first time in ages. I can't honestly remember the last time I had this much time on
my hands. As a result, there was a lot of tidying but also of chilling out. I thought initially I would be giving some of the mates a shout to hang out with. I did give the good mate J a shout on the Thursday but by the time the evening came, I went training and flaked on the couch adjusting to the
empty apartment. I did miss Mammy2 more then I thought as well. I got txts from her, letting me know how she was getting on and how much of a good time they were having and her Mam was in heaven. Having never been to Paris, I'd say she was loving it.

Work has calmed down which leaves me with a lot of time on my hands during the day, which gives me a chance to learn some new stuff. CMS, or Content Managment Systems are my latest project. There's a lot in it so I am taking it slow but it gives me something to focus on when work
is slow. On the way home from work on Friday night, I changed my route home to take in Henry street and was chuffed to see the christmas lights up. Txted a few peeps about it, including the mate A. She txted me back on Sat morning asking if I was around town as she was on a rare trip to the city for a salsa workshop. Met up with her after getting walloped at training and it was great to see her. She's one of those people that everyone wants to hang out, she's such a lovely person. We had lunch in Curved St Cafe and having never been before I must say I was impressed. Food was really good and soup was homemade. I wasn't impressed with that, I like my soup from the cup-a category :) I introduced her to the joys of Urban Outfitters and left her to her shopping whilst I went and got my mullet re-styled. The hairdresser woman remembered me. I was unsure which I was impressed or scared. I mean, she's a hairdresser, they must go through about 12-15 people daily. She's very nice though apart from the need for small talk. As everyone knows I am famed for my smalltalk.

The kid rang then, we were meeting for dinner and perhaps a trip to the cinema. It was all very adult
espeically when it involves the kid.

She had to head home and drop off her stuff, this put the fear of god into me. Having spent the last 2 days making the apartment spotless and tidy, I dreaded to see what state she had left the place, whirling in and back out in record time. She met me in The Morrison where I had went after shopping
for a sit down and a read of the paper. The weather was shocking, so we both decided that the cinema wasn't a good idea. We caught up on all the goings ons, when I say we caught up, I mean she talked and I listened. Its strange to hear her about talk money and understand what's going on with it. I think she's beginning to appreciate how much we spent on her. Perhaps not. Herself and the man are getting along very well, when you consider they are living with each other and both of them aren't working at the moment. I don't know if I could do it to be honest, 24/7 with your partner. But its working for them. Thank god. We bought some munchies and headed back to the apartment where she disppeared into the internet and I read the paper and expressed my shock at various stories. Her level of interest in any of the stories was minimal, judging by the hmmm and the yeah coming from her. The only story that provoked any kid of reaction from her was the one I told her about overhearing in Easons.

I was queueing up in Easons when this conversation took place within earshot between a security guard and a local dublin chap for want of a better description.

"I mean, there's no such thing as gay people right"
Security man nods. I take this as a sign he's merely going along with aforementioned idiot.
"Like when you see two women, one of them is a man, you know? Not like on the telly, na, you never see women like them as lesbians and as for the gay men" cue prancing like an idiot waving hands in the air
"one of them is always the bitch"
More nodding followed by the security man finally revealing his true feelings
"Do you get many of them in Finglas"
"Nah, thank god, that's the one thing I have to say for the place is we have none of them. If we did, I'd be out poking them with my stick"

My initial reaction was of sadness and annoyence. How are he judge us and talk about us as if we were aliens. Cheeky fecker. My sadness changed to anger pretty quickly. Who was he to say that what we were was wrong. How on earth was my loving Mammy2 and going about my daily business doing anything to him? Or perhap he was just like everyone else, everyone has an opinion on everything. There's no point in over -analysis as you'll only wreck your head.

Today I was thinking about how much I missed the kid, I personally blame too much time byself for this feeling. It soon went when I was in her room and I noticed make up all over the new duvet set after she telling me she wasn't going to put any on it. Her room was like a tornado hit it. I sighed and closed the door. Some things will never change. She's gone to Fibbers tonight, poured into some corset she loves. As she had no money, I gave her some making sure she wasn't going to
get hammered. Thankfully the boyf is meeting her there and he's a good influence. They are coming back here and staying over then as she has to go to the dole office again tomorrow for means testing and to give them more details on us. They apparently have to check what we are getting paid. I understand the need for all these checks and stuff but it annoys me sometimes. When Mam passed away, we couldn't even get the funeral grant, which apparently everyone is entitled to.
We got no allowences with the exception of the children's allowence, and now the minute she has to apply for anything, suddenly we're looked on as a 'family'. Hopefully it won't affect what she gets. She's been applying loads of places in fairness to her, but coming up to christmas is always a bad time.

Just another maniac Monday

What a day and its only 2.45. When I make a mistake, I make sure to do it in style. There's P1 documentation floating documentation, the words escalation and 24/7 support and we're only half way through the day. Thankfully my headache is gone away, but the words going forward are still floating around. Its not the end of the world or as big a crises as the buisiness is acting but I suppose one must put things in perspective. Either way , not a great start to the week. After such a fab weekend. Lots of rugby and quality time. Catching up on movies as well, managed to get through Hairspray AND the second of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and halfway through the third one. I agree with people's views the second one was overlong. I think the first one was enough. I still have the overwhelming urge to wallop Keira Knightly and I suspect this is a commen enough reaction. We joined the D4 crowd in Doheny and Nesbits on Saturday to cheer on Leinster. I should say Mammy2 cheered on Leinster, I asked questions and cheered when they scored like a good partner that I am. Whilst I slag off the D4 or ruggers crowd a lot, they are certainly an awfully polite bunch of people. There were 2 older gentlemen beside us who I decided were dads. They might not have been at all, but I am going through this phase. I think I would like to have a dad.

Just to clarify by dad/father/papa/male figurehead I don't mean the miserable, child pimping, drunken, wife-raping excuse for a male that was involved in the creation of my good self. God know. I mean, a male figure, a positive male figure. I blame marks and spencers personally and I hold them responsible. I was in there a few weeks ago and had to exchange something to I went to the top floor. Having never been there I had a saunter around the area, perhaps it was the household section that nearly snared me, I am only a lesbian after all. But from the household section one has to go through the mens section. Lo and behold, there were dads everywhere, some looking at those jumpers, you know the ones that has dad written all over them. The ones they would never buy themselves but have to wear because it was a birthday/father's day present from the child. I'm unsure what's brought this sudden need on and I suppose I can't really hold Marks responsible although I would like perhaps for them to provide me with a picture of a random dad which I could use to show people he does exist :)

The males in my life have been few and far between. My uncles mostly. The one who lives down in the wilds of Westmeath next door to the brother, a really nice guy but not the sort of man I could have a sit down and chat with. The other uncle, the one who I did get close to for a while before I discovered the whole racist wife beating side of him. What a catch he was eh? He's okay in small doses. The funniest thing is I feel closet to the aforementioned sperm-donor's brother then anyone else. He's just a dad. Himself and the wife waited for so long to have kids, eventually being told that they might never have them. Then volia out of the blue a baby boy. Another a few years later and he couldn't be happier. I suppose seeing him with this family and thinking what might of been. Not that I sit around going "If only I had a papa" Why I suddenly sound like someone from Little House on the Prairie I don't know. Its not a case of me missing out or thinking I am missing something from my life. I guess its more a case of me wanting to buy those sweaters with the diamonds for a dad. Granted, he'd be a badly dressed dad but still.

Cute pic of the day

Its a curse

PMT I have decided can stand for pretty mean titch. Luckily for most people, I am able to supress the homicidel feelings I have right now and put on a happy face. I can't remember when its been this mad. This is what I am convinced I look like right now:

Attractive yeah? The mood swings range from anger, we are talking steam out of ears to tears at something stupid like the blue writing on the bus advertisment.

Of course the kid chose just the right moment to ring me the other day and the conversation went along the lines of: "Hi, look I need you or Mammy2 to come to the dole office.."
"Look, I checked" "DON'T INTERRUPT ME! Right, here's the thing, I can't be expecting (insert boyf's name here) and his mam to support me and me not contributing anything. I can't seem to get a job and someone has to support me and the government has a responsibility to me, so I think you can do things. Either one of you takes some time off and comes with me to the dole office or you can send me out a 100 euros a week to support me"

Silence

And then I ripped into her telling her to never dare talk to me like that again and who did she think she was expecting us to support her when she's moved out. I hung up the phone. I was fuming. I haven't been that angry in a long time and not with her. I very rarely lose the head with her, but I suppose it was a combination of PMT and her demand. She was way out of line. A half hearted apology followed which I ignored.

Yesterday there was a proper apology so things are okay now. Thank god, as I was going to demand an apology before she would be setting foot in the flat again. The PMT hasn't improved and I wonder why people don't sit near me on the bus. I reckon is the here's Johnny smile I have plastered to my face. Or perhaps its the axe, who knows. Tonight we are catching up with the mate S, heading to the market bar which have the best bravas ever. If you haven't tried them out, you have to!

I have this in my paws at the moment and its a real grower.

Much like fungus according to my work mates. I made the mistake of mentioning I had heard a song from McFly and one of my workmates had some sort of coughing fit. Apparently this is information I should not be sharing with the general public and also not share when he is eating god bless him. Some people are so strange about liking boy bands. Its all about credible music. Wanting people to judge you based on how cool your music collection is. I don't get it. Perhaps because my music collection is not 'cool'.

Endings and Beginnings

Why do people invest everything they have, all their time, energy, money, emotions, in something as volatile as love? She asks herself as she moves dazedly from room to room of the silent, empty house. Why do we even attempt to try and establish a future, a home, a life, a partnership that we at one time or another, believe will last forever, with something as fickle as another human being? At the door to the living room she pauses, gazing around in complete bafflement. How to even begin dividing things up? How to start the soul destroying process of, ‘that’s mine’ ‘you can have that’ or ‘we bought that together so...’

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Women can be right bitches

Not all women, you understand. But some. They have this fantastic talent for hurting people. I just wish sometimes that'd they'd cop on. Less of the drama please, oh wait, you're a lesbian, its like you were born for dramatic bullshit. Anyhew, a great weekend was had. Lots of shopping for house holdy items, hanging with mates and bringing the team out for dinner. Friday night, we caught up with the mate S who we hadn't seen in ages, and as she's started a new job
there was lots to talk about. I had calmed down from the madness of Friday at that stage. As I am leaving, one of my workmates tells me that Westlife are going to be on the Late Late show and another tells me that its reported that they are signing albums in HMV on Grafton Street. I try ringing to find out what time this is at and the stupid phone dies. I am now in a panic because the mate S won't be able to reach me and I have no idea what time she
is due at the flat for. Also I am meeting the mate J for a catch up chat so I was a tad stressed. Needless to say it was all sorted and a few hours later, we are all sitting around , feeling suitably stuffed and watching Westlife on the Late Late. I think the wine made the mates more mellow and thus allowing me to indulge! And for those of you who have missed the video.



The kid rang on the Saturday, asking if the dole office is open on a Saturday and if so could we accompany her. She's not dealing with some parts of adulthood too well it appears. I'm not sure what she's planning on doing about it, but I'm pretty sure we'll hear all about it. Yesterday was the long overdue team dinner. I like to bring the guys out for a meal and some drinkines once in a while as they do a lot of work on the site, donating their free time and all that.
We went to the old reliable Luigi Malone's for lunch and then onto the FL for drinkies. The mate C even showed up and stayed for the lunch. One of the guys couldn't make it as she was down the country which was a pity as it was the first time we were all together as a team. I had invited the fab designer C along as well, but she was heading down the country as well, as she was feeling unwell and wanted some of Mammy's home cooking. They really should bottle that stuff as its far better then any medicine.

As the boss is out today, I've decided I'm going to do very little. I spent the morning tidying up my gmail account, its very messy. I can't seem to find the setting whereby it adds every email address you've ever received from or sent to automatically to your contacts. Its a bit of a pain when you are sending a mass email which I have done a few
times. I have email addresses for so many people and I don't have a clue who they are. So I got rid of all them, got rid of a lot of old emails and chat history and the inbox is feeling much happier now. All lean and trim :)

Squirrels are cute

Bras and pumpkins

Its been confirmed that bras, or more specifically, Mammy2's bras are weapons of mass destruction. One of them managed to feck up the washing machine much to our horror and the electrian's amusement. On the plus side the washing machine is fixed and Mammy2 has become washer woman again. She loves the machine. Halloween night went off without a hitch. One of the mates in work J had brought in 2 pumpkins which we carved at lunchtime and everyone admired. Of course after going to all that work I couldn't leave it, so I brought it home with me. The funniest is people in costume looking at me strangely because I've got a pumpkin under my arm? Weirdos. The walk to the bus stop was illuminated the whole way by fireworks. For something that's illegal there's a lot of it around. I love fireworks.

The kid whirled back in our lives yesterday for a few hours. She had rang me to ask if Mammy2 could meet her with her pills up town at 1. I told her Mammy2 was working now and wouldn't be able to, but I was leaving work early and could meet her. And there the fun ensued. She wanted makeup in the chemist, she needed some sort of concealer or something. Then when we went to do some shopping for dinner, the basket filled up with stuff I didn't even notice until I got to the checkout. When we got home, she threw her shoes in the middle of the floor, her cardigan on another chair and sprawled onto the couch with the crossword. It was like she had never left, the good ole days. She enjoyed
the mash potatoes dinner. She cleared the bathroom of shower gel and shampoo and suddenly, the poor bf's bag was stuffed. He's got great patience god bless him. He puts up with the kid and her mood swings, his sister is hitting puberty and his mother is going through the menopause. I hope he has a lot of male friends!

The big project went live without a hitch and we are getting a lot of positive feedback. In my current place of employment , we are not used to positive press so its a refreshing change. I had thought that work could calm down now that it's live but alas not. Work and other projects are as busy as ever. I am hoping to close off some of the other projects soon enough. I really dislike people who think they are being professional when in fact they are rude? Its a fine line I know, but its not that difficult. Idiots. The weekend ahead is looking nice and relaxing, with the exception of re-painting the apartment. On Sunday is the team dinner, it should be good fun. Its the least I can do for the guys who take care of the site. I mean they donate their free time to helping me out, a free meal is not exactly treating them. I will be getting new shirts made up for them. I'm looking forward to them having their own uniform as opposed to the same shirt most other people have.