babies and stuff..

She got her hair done yesterday and she's been preening ever since. Her first visit to a hairdresser without us in tow, she had to go herself as I couldn't get out of work and niether could Mammy2. She was chuffed with herself, her hair being her pride and joy, I sometimes think she's more like a Leo then a Cancer.

So last night was the big night for baby making, the kid left the shape of herself in the door on
her way to her best mates. There was no way apparently that she was sticking around for
us going at it!

I was starting to show nerves as the day progressed yesterday mainly because it started to feel
real. This is something that we have been talking about for 3 years and pla nning for a year and a half and now it was finally happening, it felt odd!

I got a few emails from the sister in Holland wishing us all the best and mentioning cheerleaders!!

She's very thoughtful like that!

With the child out of the apartment, we were relaxing when the doorbell rang and it was our donor.
He was grand and relaxed and we chatted about what his plans were for the evening etc.
He did the deed and headed out for the night and we had to prepare ourselves. It was interesting, both of us were nervous but everything went according to plan.

A funny moment before we started, we were switching off the mobile phone and we got a message from one of our friends who we haven't seen in a while and she asked had we any plans for the night.
Mammy2 texted her back what we were up to and she sent back a response along the lines of

"Go on sperm , you can do it! Swim"

I'm sure they heard her as well! I was wrecked yesterday after the stress of the last few days with a second interiew etc, so I got an early night while Mammy2 stayed up until the child returned.
The child barreled into the room and asked if I was pregnant, I explained that it was a bit too soon to tell.

When you are trying its best to do it more then once, hence this morning we were back at it again.
The poor kid wanted to get hair gel from the bathroom but was terrified of seeing the yoghurt pot!

And now its all done and its a case of waiting.

The kid is having an off day today, she rang me earlier to say that her year head , she's a coot,
wants 25 notes for all the days she was absent. We're meeting this woman on Tuesday and I can't wait. I have a few things I shall be telling her.

shakespeare is evil....

Its offical, directly from the kid's mouth. No-one, whilst throwing dramatic shapes on the couch, talks like that, why the (insert bad word here ) didn't Shakespeare just say what he meant. The Merchant of Venice is what she's supposed to be working on, folks, and its proving painstaking. Thankfully, its Mammy2's job as I take Maths, which is easy compared with all that poetry lark.

I did King Lear for the leaving cert and it was a complete pile of pants so I can emphatise with her Mammy2 , meanwhile was loving the film. Yes, she's one of those intellectual types.

The day started well, after the initial shock of seeing her working on 'the painting' again?! Yes, we had assumed she was finished. I think they'll have to prise it out of her hands.

She was in grand form, looking up fertility spells for us etc. She's really getting into the idea that we're going to have a baby, fingers crossed. Whilst the whole idea of us doing anything is grossing her out completly, she's already booked her best friend for Thursday night, she's opening up a bit more. According to some ritual thing she did yesterday, we're having a boy. She wants to be the godess mother and raise the child as wiccan. I told her we could discuss all that when I got pregnant. Talk about jumping the gun.

Can I just say that we haven't even started yet? We're starting on Thursday, hence the haste at which she acquired someone to spend the time with! The mere idea of us doing anything sexual grosses her out. She was telling us about her therapy session last week, whilst talking to the therapist, she was telling her how us talking about sex freaked her out. The therapist asked was it because we were lesbian, to which she replied , no , it was because we were old.

I'm excited and scared at the same time at the thought of being pregnant. We've had a couple of trial runs, I won't scare you with the details, and its all looking good, lets just hope these ovaries don't suffer performance anxiety when the night comes. They can be awkard divils. Also, the 'practicing' is great fun! Ahem. We'll just leave that there shall we?!

She's off to Holland on Friday for the bank holiday weekend to see her man. This long distance relationship is starting to wear on her I think. Still, they're online to each other all the time and he ring's her sometimes as well.

We shall see, its lasted longer then her previous relationships and having the boyfriend in another country is always good!

I'm considering moving to a blog from this live journal lark, as a progammer/designer, I hate the lack of control over how your journal looks.

Oy maybe I should just get a paid account? Hmm, I shall have a think about it. In the meantime, I'm off to excercise those ould vaginal muscles. Perpare them for some action during the week, poor things won't know what hit them!

My main worry about becoming pregnant at the moment is that the maternity clothes out there are hideous. Seriously , hideous. What is the story, do designers decide that when you acquire a bump, all fashion sense and wanting to appear smart leaves you?

Muppets.

the satanic one is back

I should have know it wouldn't last long. She got kicked out of history for her piercing, she's convinced the school is trying to repress her individuality. I didn't have the energy to point out the uniform she was attired in. The piercing is due to heal in about 4-5 weeks, well timed for her summer holidays.

She makes me laugh out loud sometimes. We had our bonding night on Sunday night to go see Amityville and she was yammering away about how fantastic Holland was and there was only one thing holding her back from going. This is where I expected her to jump in and go us, but no, it was her band. Let me give you a brief history of this band of hers. She's been forming it for the last year, she has gone through 3 guitarists, two drummers and 3 bassists , having never actually MET any of them or knowing anything about them cept their names which are usually bizarre like Thromer, Chip and Clunk? Don't parents christen their kids with proper names any more.

So, yeah, the band, none of them have met each other, a good mate of hers plays the guitar but apart from that and the odd rock type metal scream coming out of her mouth some days, I really don't see them breaking through to the big time. Yet this might hold her from travelling?!

I arrived home yesterday and she was 'painting', preparing her prep sheet for her art project. Our plants were cowering in the corner thinking they were next for the makeover. Whilst I headed training, she went up to her best mate who's been having some problems recently. In bed at a nice hour, whilst Mammy2 took charge of picking the kid up etc.

I woke up at around 3.30 to see the living room light still on which meant she was still up. I marched out to find her sitting on the floor flicking through a mag. I mentioned the time: She turned slowly, like something in a horror film:

"And your point is?"

All was well with the world , demon child was back.
We had come to an agreement of sorts, considering that she is a tad nocturnal. The bedtime slot is open enough, provided:

1) She's able to get up for school in the morning
2) She's not cranky etc
3) She's not allowed sleep during the day.

This was working, mainly because she was wrecked etc, but yesterday she didn't go in so she was wide awake. I had no sympathy for her. She's not going in today as her best mate needs her around for support, so she thinks she can lie in, hence the 3.30. I've informed Mammy2 to boot her out of that bed at 9. I'm also going to ring during the day to make sure she's not sleeping. Yes I am evil, but then where do you think she got it from!?!

I came out this morning to head to work. There was dyed green fabric all over the sink. Now she either got a part time job making clothes for Robin Hood and his merry man or this is the next stage of her art project. I'm hoping for the former as I don't think I can take much more of her art project!

its raining again

Last night I was supposed to go training but due to the fact that someone decided that 5 o'clock would be a good time to start throwing buckets of water from the sky, I opted for a warm shower and comfy clothes instead of heading out to work my body.

I had all intentions of heading to the hairdresser and then home to get changed and back out again. After plodding all the way across town to the hairdresser, he was closed. Closed, am I to continute in this world looking like I've got roadkill on my head?

So, I sloshed home freezing cold. I was barely in the door , then the lump on the couch known as the child wanted dinner. She couldn't be interrupted from watching Charmed. The joys of digital. I asked her how she got on with her study and she hopped off the couch and headed into the room.

I was wary of a tantrum so I stood near the window for witnessess. She came out with a bunch of flowers, tulips for Mammy2 and lillies for me and she wrote us a letter?!
Again, I was wary, I thought it might be her admitting she had a drug habit or she was involved in one of the recent bank heists.

I was pleasantly surprised by its content, it was basically how much she loved us and thought we were the best parents ever and she was sorry for all the hassle she's caused us. How she realises that we gave up loads of things for her and that she's going to try and do better. It was so sweet, we've decided to laminate it and whever she causes trouble in future, we shall consult this
letter and remember times when she wasn't a demon!

straight through the lip and you're to blame..

The lip has been pierced, you know sometimes I think she looks at the rules of the school and then decides what to do with her body next.

I'm tempted to buy a magnet and stick it to her when she's asleep, but I think that might be a wee bit cruel. She had her practical on Friday, it was moved because the teacher wanted to run through some practice runs with her, which I thought was very nice of the teacher. Especially when you consider she hasn't attended classes of Home Ec in months.

Things are improving with her though, not sure if its the therapy or the anti-depressants but whatever it is , we're just enjoying it. I was all prepared for the stress levels to rise again once she returned from the land of windmills and clogs but no. Well, the only little bone she has to pick at the moment is sex and how when she's legal, she can have sex and we can't do anything about it?! This conversation kicked off one evening while I was trying to figure out how to get the slope of a line?!

"You know its ridiculous that you insist on treating me like a child?"

I glanced around assuming she was talking to someone else, then released there were two blue eyes boring into me.

"What"

"This whole I'm 15 and so I can't have sex, you do realise that when I'm legal it will be soo stupid of you to continue to talk about suing someone for having sex with me"

The equation of the line was looking more interesting as this one-sided conversation progressed.

"Well?"

Caught now, I had to give an answer. Can I take 50/50 or call a friend.

"You'll always be a child in my eyes"

Wrong answer, the eyes narrowed, Mammy2 ran for shelter in the room as lightning lit up the living room and thunder rumbled ominously in the back ground.

"I'M FIFTEEN, NEARLY SIXTEEN"

"Yes, but in my eyes" I tried explaining as my hair caught fire " You will always be a kid, someone I burped, changed her nappies, watched her first steps. You don't like it when myself and Mammy2 talk about sex"
I heard a faint shout from the bedroom

"You tell her Mammy1"

This paused her in her tirade, she was either contemplating turning me into a frog or actually thinking about what I had to say, I took this lull in conversation and offered to make tea. Always good for distracting. It worked.

Speaking of all things withcy, herself and her best mate D, have acquired a new friend who's also into Wicca and the three of together remind me of the girls off Charmed. I tried quoting the power of 3 at them, and got 3 sets of glares rather then the one I am used to.

I started back training last week and either I am getting older, or the juniors have started training with the seniors. 30 minutes of sparring , and while the sensei's tell people to take it easy, the people fighting me don't hear that. At around 8.30, I crawled out of the gym. Still, its good to work off some aggression.

We went to see the Amityville Horror last night as part of our sister bonding film. She has a habbit of holding your arm in a vice grip when she gets scared, this obviously leaves a mark and not to mention how sore it is, so I wear a baggy top which she can then wrap her hand around. 10 minutes into the film,she was buried in my shoulder muttering about how it was a great film and we must buy it. She loves to be scared, mad child that she is.

Although when we got home, I had to stand guard at the bathroom door, so much for bravado!

just blew in from the windy city...

She was gone for seven days and blew into the airport at 9.30 last night and it was like she was never away. Her lovely face turned blue as she talked, and talked and talked and talked. She hadn't seen us in a week, it was going to be this way for a while!

Talk turned to school, oh how I love that word and the Home Economics pratical for her Junior Cert which was this morning. She was not a happy bunny about it at all. We changed the subject and she went back to gushing about her boyf, R and how fantabulous he is.

I wanted to be back on Bundoran. Myself and Mammy2 headed down there for four whole days of just the two of us in lovely Bundoran. A seasonal town, but a lovely place to spend a few days quality time. We drove down amid hailstones and gale force winds. Just the weather we were looking for! The place we were staying in, self catering, had an open fire and all we needed was an excuse.

Day 1- All night , hailstones rattled the windows and the wind wailed around the house. Awoke and got blown into town. We were looking for somewhere to have breakfast. Finally settled on a hotel, where they had a nice lunch menu. A bit of browsing around the shops afterwards and then some shopping for food for the house alongwith firewood. Back to the house, got the fire going and opened a nice bottle of red wine. There was no words for how relaxed we were. After a siesta in the afternoon, we decided to head 'out on the town'. We were a bit peckish so headed to a restaurent/bar for some food. The portions were huge, I ordered a fillet of plaice, what arrived out was Moby Dick. Obviously, the local chef felt we were in need of feeding.

After struggling with the meal, Mammy2 was delighted with her portions, we decided to move further afield as ye olde locals were starting to scare me. Therein was the problem.
Finding a decent pub, I'm sure in the summer this place is hopping, but on a windy Thursday night, people were staying indoors. We tried a few places, one of them, which shall remain namless had all the potential of a great bar. Open fire, comfy seats and then your attention turns to the bar and what has to be a direct descendant of Peig Sayers behind it.

Mammy2 ordered two beers whilst I negociated the rocky terrain that is the toliets. There was no point in consulting Peig, she just kept nodding her head.
We should have noted something was amiss when the main doors to the place were closed and you had to come into it through the hotel. And the fact that she was dragging her wooden leg behind her. Arriving back at the table, Mammy2 was dubiously eyeing up her pint of 'Carlsberg' which looked exactly the same as my Budweiser. We think that she moved from the taps to the slop bucket in 3 minutes flat. Two sips into it, we left them and Peig and headed back to the place we had lunch in.

Day 2 - After another lazy morning in bed, we headed to Dongel Town for a visit, it being the home of Red Hugh O'Donnell and all that. It's a lovely town and the drive there was fantastic, the atlanctic Ocean on your left as you drive out, the Blue Stacks in front of you. We did some typical touristy things, visiting the castle, bought a fridge magnet, eyed up the locals for evidence of them being direct descendants of Red Hugh.

Back home for takeout, we were too lazy to cook, and a night in front of the telly. It was cold and we had an open fire, why would we face Peig again?!

Day 3 - A costal walk, I had refrained from mentioning a walk on the beach or the cliffs for fear of incurring Mammy2's wrath, but the day seemed nice enough and the wind not too high so we went for the walk. She enjoyed it, even if she was a bit reluctant to walk it in the first place and she did look like the poster child for the Ring2 for most of it!
Having never been inside a bookies in my life, I was determinded to put money on Forest Gunner in the Grand National, so once we got into town we headed in and placed a bet. I felt quite empowered!
Mammy2 was gasping at this stage, having done that costal walk, so we headed into the first bar we came across. I won't name names, but I should have know what sort of place it was as I walked into it, my boots sticking to the floor every step of the way. I returned to our table, where Mammy2 was resting her elbows on two beermats.
I didn't leave my feet flat on the floor just in case I couldn't leave the place. We finished our drinks and left that place pretty quickly.

Heading to what was becoming our local, the hotel bar, we settled down to watch the race. its quite a different spectacle when you have money on a horse. After our horse came 5th, we decided a mini-pub crawl was in order. Considering we had been in most of them already, for pub crawl read 3 pubs, we were too scared to enter the other bars.
Walking down the street at one stage, Mammy 2 was greeted by an Oriental woman passing. The woman from the Chinese takeway the previous night, I don't know what Mammy 2 said to her but it must have made an impression! She was already known to the locals.

We got back to Dublin around 3 o'clock yesterday, enough time to take a breath before the teenager barreled her way back into our lives, and as per, this morning was a battle getting her to school. She hated Ireland, she wanted us all to move to Holland, she hated school, she hated everything. After some negociations and a serious of standoffs, we got her up to the school and there's been no dreaded phone call, so fingers crossed!