The calm after the storm

Its been a very strange few days. Hard to put into words really. You know when things are going so well, you don't even stop to think that there might be something up. The kid was fine, what little we saw of her. She was back with the boyfriend and had just bought her DEBs dress and shoes. Everything seemed fine. Herself and the mate K headed to Fibbers as they usually do on a Thursday night.

We had a chilled out evening, I did some work and then we watched some tv. Tucked up in bed at 9, and we are awoken to the sounds of them coming in and then a quiet tapping on the door. K came in to tell us that the kid had jumped into the Liffey and was very upset and would we have a talk to her. Obviously we were all over the place. We assumed the positions we have also done with her. I put the kettle on and Mammy2 gave her loads of hugs. She was pretty shook and soaking. We got her into the shower and then I noticed her legs were covered in cuts. She's started cutting herself again. I was so shocked. I mean, like I said, everything is going well. Or so I thought. Obviously I was wrong. She was sobbing and hardly able to talk. She was muttering about how she made Mam sick and was a bad person. Between hiccups. She was quite drunk as well. After the shower. she calmed down enough to talk. Someone had made some comment about her and she got really angry.

It must have been a pretty bad comment to drive her over the edge. I guess it was the final straw as she said things
have been building up in her head lately. I didn't know what to say. We tried talking to her, the mate K was great for
talking to her and the kid actually listens. Myself and Mammy2 sat and let her try and talk to the kid. We had a chat with her as well, asking her to maybe think about going back to her therapist. She said she doesn't really talk to her therapist. Apparently, she's afraid to open up because she'll cry and it will ruin her makeup. I'm not making this up. She's mad.

We agreed that she is to make an appointment and Mammy2 said she'd go along with her. I said to make she wears no makeup! Once we had her tucked up in bed, we both went to bed but it was impossible to sleep. I was going through everything in my head. She's often mentioned doing something like this before but she has never actually gone through with it. Myself and Mammy2 had a chat about it and we are going to try and make more of an effort with family time. Come to some sort of agreement about spending family time together at least twice a week. I guess, in some aspects she's 18 and an adult, and in others she needs us as much as she used to. That hasn't changed.

The mate K was fuming with some guy she stopped to ask for help. He just looked into the river at the kid and asked her if she was happy with herself. Chatting to the sister K on gchat the following morning about the whole thing, I thought it would be better then sending her an email, she asked if yer man was drunk. I said and I quote "K" , we like to refer to each other by letters a lot,"it was a thursday night after 1 in Dublin city, what are the odds on him being sober?"

The kid seems to be doing better. She was in good form over the weekend. Despite the fact that the mate K and her baby brother stayed over on Friday. She got hardly any sleep as they slept in her room. It was an unplanned sleepover. K's sister was out and K had no way of getting in contact with her and so couldn't get into the house as she didn't have keys. Her sister sounds like a complete idiot. K and the baby headed off on Saturday morning and the kid wandered around like a zombie. The boyfriend was calling over to hang with her as she didn't want to leave the safety of the apartment. Which was great, because we knew she'd have company whilst we went to the mate J's bday dinner. It was good fun but we were both wrecked and emotionally wrung out so we didn't stay out too late after the meal.

Most of Sunday was spent hanging with the clan and cooking them sunday dinner. Roast potaoes are the best :) I also managed to finally finish the redesign of my website. Its live now, thank god. You have no idea the amount of work that went into it. I'm so relieved. No more working weekends or evenings, I am going to have so much free time on my hands. The kid will be sick of me wanting to hang with her. I must start putting some black eye make up on, to fit in like.