The Demons within...

There are times when you forget the years gone by and you get used to the reasonably happy go lucky teenager that graces your presence most of the time. Its easy to forget the crap, you want to put it behind you and forget those nights you were awake wondering when it was going to be okay, when she was going to feel better and how was the rest of her life going to work out for her. Its time like that you need your mother. And I was no substitute for the great Mama Titch. Yesterday, I felt like we had taken a step back. The mood in the apartment was extremely low. After the incident on Saturday night, I had felt a lot of damage control was done over the next few days with regards to making sure the kid knew she could talk to us and let us know what's going on with her.

The kid's mood contines to go up and down. I was baffled. Mammy2 had tried talking to her yesterday after the
dentist and all she got was an earful about no food in the house and how we promised her phone credit and now
we can't get it and so on. Mammy2 is not able for her right now I feel. She's been fighting off a bout of depression
herself to dealing with an unruly teenager is not going to help her case at all. I blessed myself and rang the kid.
She answered the phone with her usual greeting.
"Wha?"
I asked her how the dentist went, there was mumurs of a filling and that she would wait for me to make the next appointment. Even though I had specifically asked her to tell the dentist she wanted to go again this morning for another filling. Next came the rant about the lack of food. Just to clarify the 'lack of food' situation. It means we are without munchies. Needless to say I gave that the five minutes attention it was worth and moved on. I explained to her she needed to be in the apartment for her maths grind tonight. More murmurs about not needing grinds etc. She's such a joy to deal with at times. I asked her what she was up to for the day.
"Lying on the bed being a moody teenager" I appreciated her honesty.

The brother and his gf were up yesterday, he had bought us easter eggs. He's knows the best way to approach the kid. We had a bite to eat with them and chatted about all the deaths in the local area. Seems like all the neighbours
are popping their clogs. He asked again about the meal after Mam's mass and mentioned something about wanting the cousins there. I was confused as I thought it was just family and as I don't get on with most of the cousins, there was no way I wanted them at the meal. As it turns out, the brother was confused as he thought we were all going out for a meal for his birthday, which unfortunately for him falls on the same day as Mam's anniversary. There was a few
confused looks and then the gf took over and said that it was no problem that they would go out with the cousins and other mates on the Saturday and the family on the Tuesday. It was still a bit shit, but I will book the restuarent and organise a cake and all that.
So hopefully that will make him feel a bit better. He also bought the playstation off the kid, she's 150 euro richer now. And is heading straight to the tatoo place this morning. Mind would it gain interest in her money tin.

Once they had left, the kid's mood changed again to one of hell and brimstone. Into the bedroom to 'tidy', all you could hear were books being flung around the place and curses. I had a bit of work to do but wasn't in the mood as the mood in the apartment was so depressing. I decided to go bed. On the way, I stopped and asked her why she was in such foul form. She mumbled something about not knowing and other stuff and then I caught the tail end of her mumbles:
"And those anti-depressants are crap if you ask me, they're not working at all. I'm glad I stopped taking them" This of course stopped me in my tracks. When quizzed as to when she stopped taking them, she mentioned last week. Suddenly things were starting to make sense. The mood swings, Saturday night's episode, all the tantrums.

How do you convince her that they do work? I mean, eventually we obviously wanted her off them, but in a controlled environment and with the doctor's recommendation. Not just stopping when she feels like it. How do we get her to keep taking them? If she's been off them for over a week now then chances are she's not going back on them. I left the conversation for another day when I would have more energy to deal with it. Around 3 o'clock I was awoken to her talking loudly and lots of curses. I asked her to tone it down a bit, she started giving out again. Muttered something about not going back to school. I waited for her head to turn fully around but it didn't happen. Perhaps things aren't as bad as they appear. I was too tired to argue and just pottered back to bed.

According to Mammy2 she is sushine and light this morning. All chat , apologised for her mood and is off to spend her money on a tatoo. She has enough to get the nail of a dragon tattoed to her right arse cheek and that's about it I think. Its always fancy designs she wants. Unless she wants the latest boyf's name of something cheesey.