Never, ever try to be spontaneous on Valentines Day is my advice to you. We had decided already that we were going to use this evening as Date night and so Mammy2 was going to cook dinner whilst I had the hard task of picking up a bottle of wine and desert. I know, I know, you win some, you lose some.
I started in Marks, they always have lovely deserts. I arrived into the dessert aisle and I was left looking a porridge. I can only imagine Mammy2's surprise when after cooking a lovely starter and dessert, I plop some lovely porridge in front of her. Even I, who's not a fan of dessert at all, know where porridge rates on a scale of something nice after dinner. Well below apricot stew I would think.
So I move on past the queues in Marks, to the Tesco in Jervis. Their cream buns laughed in my face and I was sure I could hear whispers of "Don't even think about trying to shop on the day you're supposed to be cooking" The phone rings. Its Mammy2. Turns out she's not having the best of luck with buying the starter and/or main course. I ask where she is. She's in the same Tesco as me. Either we both think alike or we're both extremely lazy. Either way, it turns out Tesco don't know the meaning of the word fresh fish, well, this Tesco at least, and not on Valentine's day. We give up on the idea of cooking dinner and head for a glass of wine and chat, bypassing the queues of people.
It turned out to be a lovely evening, we decided to risk going to dinner in a restaurent nearby as its never full so the chances of it having a load of couples drooling all over each were going to be slim and none. A lovely meal and a chat, only interrupted by the kid ringing to remind us that if it was date night, this meant she got munchies. As if we'd forget. We value our lives too much.
When we got home, she talked non-stop until at one stage I thought she was going to turn blue and fall over. This is what happens when we don't come home until late. She has to get day's worth of 'news' out of her. Its news to her, although why we must hear all about how her mate J is going out with a guy named after a drug, Smack or Slap or Slurp or whatever the hell he's called, is beyond me. I suppose whenever it sounds like we're not listening, we can always throw in the old "How's Soup and J doing these days".
Last week, her best mate D and her boyf were walking somewhere and very nearly got possessed by a malevolent spirit as opposed to a benevolent spirit. The difference being the latter is a more casual spirit, he's not really bothered about possession, he's more out for a stroll and if he gets a chance , he'll wish you well. The other type, which is obviously what they saw is evil and wants to take control of your body or something like that. I decided not to ask where exactly they were walking. God knows, if word gets out about a malevolent spirit hanging around a shopping centre, panic may set in. People will stockpile beans and peas and pray for a miracle.
Between this and the annoucement she made the other day about having nightmares for the last 2 and half years. I'm amazed she gets any sleep at all. And they're never nightmares about falling off a cliff or anything normal like that. Oh no, they are usually post-apocalyptic involving headless people, people being raped and murdered and so on and so forth. My dreams about squirrels and potatoes positively pale in comparion. I mean , how can I compete with her dreams, unless I put the bloody squirrel on a motorbike and stuck a spud gun in his hand. Even then, I wouldn't come close.
Half way through her mid-term and so far we haven't had the "I'm so bored" speech. This could have something to do with the PS2 and her endless supply of Charmed DVDs. I mean how many seasons were filmed? Anytime you switch on Living TV, its on. I believe I have only seen one episode repeated. They should rename Living to Charmed TV or Endless Reality TV shows.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment